We all get down from time to time. Here's how to get back up.
I don’t know about you, but there has been more than one time in my life where I have suffered from not feeling good enough.
On occasion, I have been known to compare my insides to the outsides of others, always a dangerous “no-no”, as there is no way to compare what can’t be seen with what can.
An inside look at the traumatized brain, and how you can start to heal.
Approximately 50 percent of the population will experience a traumatic event at some point in their lives.1 While reactions to trauma can vary widely, and not everyone will develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), trauma can change the brain in some predictable ways that everyone should be aware of, especially if you or someone close to you is struggling to cope after trauma.
Wounds don’t heal with time; you just get better at living with them.
I never like to be the bearer of bad news, but unlike a scraped knee or a cracked femur, emotional wounds do not heal with time. It’s a nice, thoughtless cliché that people resort to when they feel like others need hope or comfort. But it's not true.
You mean well, but it's just not right.
If your child has ever been bullied, or even just the target of a mean kid, you know how much it hurts.
Nothing is worse than looking into the eyes of a child whose heart has been broken by a friend or classmate. As a parent, it inspires the deepest pain and even anger. It's just so unfair.
What you can learn from the hardest day of your life.
Experiencing the suicide of a parent is one of the most difficult things I have ever endured.There are so many unanswered questions that can haunt you if you let them.
Grief is a process that can take time and is very personal; we all experience it differently.
It's time to get real.
Recently I was at Sex Geek Conservatory with Reid Mihalko of ReidAboutSex and Cathy Vartuli of The Intimacy Dojo. They had us do an exercise in which we took two minutes each to teach one simple concept.
As I thought about the concept I would teach, I realized that the most important piece of relationship advice I could give to someone who wants to be happy would be the advice to always be yourself and to always be authentic in all aspects of your life, and especially in your romantic relationships.
Moving from shame and heartache to feelings of joy and love is something we all can do.
How do I know this? Because I’ve been there. Full of shame and doing everything in my power to control myself, my situation, and everyone else around me, slowly destroying every relationship I ever had.
This needs to stop -- for both of your sakes.
How many of you have ended up in a relationship where you find yourself furious at your partner, after which resentment keeps bubbling up and boiling over for a good stretch of time? You can go ahead and raise your hand if that's happened to you. I’m going to raise my hand, too.
It starts with changing your behavior
There’s no way around it: being misunderstood sucks. It can make you feel frustrated, upset, and hopeless. It can feel even worse in times of conflict.
Conflict isn’t easy. There’s hurt. There’s misunderstanding. And, at the same time, there are parts of us that are screaming to feel validated and understood.
The problem for many of us is we have learned to communicate in a way that actually pushes our partners away from truly understanding us or meeting our needs. It’s common to see criticism or contempt in a relationship where partners feel disconnected and misunderstood.
Love is cultivated during the grind of everyday life.
By Kyle Benson
What can you do right now to make your relationship more romantic? You could get your wife a diamond necklace. Or maybe you could buy her the Mercedes dream car she’s always wanted. Sounds like a good idea, right?
But let’s suppose that you haven’t asked your wife a question in five years, so you fail at Love Maps. Or while you are out on a double date with friends and your wife starts telling a story, you say, “That’s a good story, but you always tell it wrong. Let me tell it.” So you fail at showing her fondness and admiration.
Don't BS your apologies.
So, you’ve messed up big this time. You want to and need to apologize, but you don’t want to be accused of insincerity.
By all means do not give the "I’m sorry, but…" kind of apology. The same goes for an apology that starts with "I’m sorry you…" and or "I’m sorry if/but you…"
Just don’t do it.