Marriage and Divorce

The First Step in Surviving Infidelity: Ceasing All Contact with the Outside Person

After the explosive initial shock of infidelity, when emotions are less volatile, some couples will try to make things right.

In a marriage or committed relationship, the partner who strayed will sometimes awaken to the many harsh, unanticipated consequences that his or her misbehavior brings. Not the least of these is the enormous pain infidelity creates for the partner who is betrayed.
Continue Reading

Marriage and Divorce

Is Your Partner Really ‘Emotionally Unavailable’ or Is It You?

"He's just so emotionally unavailable." This is one of the things I hear most often in my practice and one of the things I heard myself saying most often before I did my own work. I remember being utterly convinced of it. The evidence was in everything my husband did -- the way he stonewalled me during arguments, the way he zoned out and disappeared into the television so much, the way he got sleepy and indeed did even nod off when I was talking to him sometimes. I was outraged by his "emotional unavailability" and I experienced it as deeply wounding.
Continue Reading

Anger

How to Distinguish Between Normal Marital Arguments and Abuse

Arguments are a normal part of marriage or any committed relationship. Abuse is not.

It is easy to tell the difference if you know the telltale signs of abuse.

The ideal relationship is one where peace and harmony always reign or almost always. That certainly should be the goal of every couple.

On the other hand, what cancer is to the body, emotional abuse is to marriages and committed relationships.
Continue Reading

Children and Teens

Steps to Successful Co-Parenting

Being a parent is a huge responsibility and often times one that is shared with a co-parent. A co-parent is the person (or people) who helps to raise your child in one way or another. This could be your spouse, an ex, your ex’s spouse, or even a friend or family member.  

In my experience as a clinician for children and adolescents, having adults that are able to co-parent in a respectful, collaborative, and accepting way is one of the most important factors in my clients’ ability to access his or her treatment.
Continue Reading

Family

6 Tips to a Joyous and Peaceful Interfaith Holiday Season

The holiday season is one of the most joyful times of the year; unfortunately, it can also be one of the most stressful times, and in an interfaith relationship, many conflicts may arise.

Consider that approximately 40% of Americans wed outside of their faith, and less than half of those couples discuss which faith they plan to follow. Because of the confusion and high stress levels, two weeks before Christmas and the month of January are the highest break up period for couples.
Continue Reading

Marriage and Divorce

The Three Relationship Killers and How to Overcome Them

As a marriage and family therapist for over 30 years, I've seen a lot of couples. And over and over, the demise of marriages and relationships in general, is not over money, children, or health but crummy communication styles. Unfortunately we were not taught in school or at home about how to communicate so we resort to a free-wheeling and unconscious style, unaware of the consequences of how our message is received.

Here are the three relationship killers of love, connection, openness, and intimacy and how to cut them off at the pass.
Continue Reading

Caregivers

How to Stop Apologizing for Everything You Do

Do either of these situations sound familiar?

You start an email to your boss with, “I’m sorry to bother you, but…”


A colleague plops his papers down on the conference table, knocking your coffee over. “Sorry! Let me get this stuff out of your way,” you say as you begin cleaning up.

Maybe you’ve fallen into this over-apologizing trap or have found yourself saying “I’m sorry” for things that don’t merit an apology in the first place.
Continue Reading

Anger

Psychology Around the Net: November 26, 2016


Happy Saturday, sweet readers!

Also, Happy Belated Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans!

I hope each and every one of you had a day (or, are still have a few days!) of time spent with your loved ones appreciating all the blessings in your life -- and, if you don't already, I hope you spend some time to do that every day.

This week's Psychology Around the Net takes a look at the latest on sexism related to men's mental health, the stigma of mental illness in the hip-hop community, how creativity benefits or hampers emotional wellbeing, and more.

Continue Reading

Marriage and Divorce

Surviving Honeymoon ‘Disasters’

Whether you’re driving to Maine or flying to Aruba, you expect your honeymoon to be perfect. Nothing but quality time with your new husband or wife in exotic surroundings, with delicious food, great entertainment, wonderful accommodations and plenty of sun.

What could possibly go wrong?

Although you’re most likely to have a foolproof wedding trip, it is possible to experience a few setbacks.
Continue Reading

Books

Psychology Around the Net: October 29, 2016


Happy Saturday, sweet readers!

This week's Psychology Around the Net covers a myriad of interesting topics, if I do say so myself!

Keep reading for information on how the way you twist your paperclips could highlight your personality (yes, really), a new three-second brain exercises to help you find joy (it's a lot deeper, and yet just as simple, as it sounds), a few misconceptions some of us might have about male sexuality, and more.

Continue Reading