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Anger

8 Everyday Thoughts that Limit Your Success and How to Change Them


Why do some of the most intelligent people sabotage their own success? It all goes back to unconscious every day thoughts, also called cognitive distortions, first identified by psychologist Aaron Beck and Dr. David Burns.

It’s typical to fall into these irrational thoughts every now and then. Mindset missteps are common among even the brightest, most well-meaning people. We can all relate to that feeling of sometimes getting in our own way.  It’s simply part of being human, an evolutionary response designed to keep you safe and protected.
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Anxiety and Panic

Getting to the Root of Your Anxiety

One of Rachel Dubrow’s clients was anxious about a big presentation at work. It wasn’t because she was worried about speaking in front of her boss and colleagues. It wasn’t because she was worried about doing a good job.

She was afraid that she’d be judged for not having straight teeth. (Instead of discussing public speaking anxiety, she and Dubrow explored her self-image and others’ perceptions.)

Another client of Dubrow’s insisted on completing all his work before leaving the office, which meant that he stayed late. Every single day. He wanted his performance reviews to exceed expectations. This stemmed “from his childhood when his parents told him that in order to be happy, he needed to clean his room, put away his toys, do his laundry, and do the dishes just like they did before bed each night,” said
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Parenting

How Do You Know if You Have High or Low Self-Esteem?

The phrase "self-esteem" is thrown around frequently when discussing mental health. In the 70s, programs in public school systems encouraged children to think better of themselves. They thought having higher esteem would bolster confidence and fight off depression if it was nurtured from an early age. With less negativity surrounding oneself, a child would be able to succeed not only in education, but in life.


The definition of self-esteem is slippery. Some equate self esteem with narcissism or an ability to push one's way to the top. Self-esteem, unlike true narcissism, includes a healthy amount of empathy. In the simplest of terms, self-esteem is how one person reflects on their own self-worth. This worth may include external success such as career, education, or finances, as well as internal worth, such as emotional states of mind and values. Do they see themselves as kind or anxious? Do they feel ashamed? These are just some of the complex feelings people may have about their own identity and self worth.
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General

Inner Strength: How to Build a Firm Foundation for Living Your Best Life

Inner strength is created through effort and determination. At the core of it is the trust that one way or another you will be able to deal with whatever you may encounter in life -- whether it be a crisis or simply the challenges of daily life.

If you do not let them crush you, hardship and adversity provide a opportunities to steel your inner fortitude. But you can also develop and strengthen it by deliberately enhancing key psychological attributes that will make you stronger and more resilient:

Strengthen Your Sense of Self
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General

Living in the Moment

We all have heard to live in the moment. Stay focused on the present. Concentrate on today. We understand that these sayings all have the same meaning: be in the here and now. Easier said than done sometimes, right? You're not alone in that feeling.

As humans we are conditioned to feel a variety of emotions at once. When we begin to think too far ahead or too far in the past, we lose sight of what is happening right in front of us in the moment of time we are in. It becomes increasingly prevalent when we are faced with life situations or circumstances that are beyond our own control. We want to hold on to something to ground us, so we look for something in our past or try to put our hopes into a future goal -- one which may not be realistic. It is a human struggle.
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General

We Are All Inherently Worthwhile: How to ‘Try On’ Worthiness


If you do not feel worthwhile, you may suffer from depression, torment yourself with self-criticism and/or lack the confidence you need to get where you want to in your life.

You may feel unworthy because:

Your parents or caretakers treated you as if you were not lovable during your formative years. As a result, you may have developed the perception that something was wrong with you, failing to realize that the uncaring treatment you received was caused by your parent’s unhappiness, emotional limitations, etc., rather than your unworthiness.
You do not measure up to the expectations that you or others have regarding your physical appearance, professional success, economic status and so on. You may mistakenly believe that they need to “earn” your worth by meeting these expectations and that feeling unworthy will somehow propel you to become the person you want to be.
You constantly compare yourself negatively to others. There will always be people who are more talented, accomplished, wealthier, better looking, etc., than each one of us. When we compare ourselves to them, we are left feeling inadequate and unworthy.
You are afraid to give yourself the gift of self-worth because you fear it will cause you to be self-centered. I assure you, there is nothing self-centered or selfish about knowing you are inherently worthwhile. In fact, people who feel worthy and whole within themselves have no need to be self-centered and can instead turn their energies to caring for others.

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Anger

Not Sure How to Respond? Take These 5 Steps to Assess Your Feelings

Feelings are essential in our daily life. Unfortunately, many people shy away from their feelings, often out of fear of expressing them. While others end up giving their emotions free range and allowing them to rule their lives.

But feelings have an important function. They allow us to better understand our environment and our relationships. And research shows that emotions that were once deemed “bad,” such as anger and contempt, are not necessarily so.  

There are times when it's necessary for you to express anger, such as when you observe an injustice. In fact, you actually do yourself more harm by bottling up these emotions. But this doesn't mean you should go ahead and express anger and contempt all the time. It's necessary to assess whether you're having healthy emotional reactions.
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Habits

How to Get More of What You Want

“It is a universal principle that you get more of what you think about, talk about, and feel strongly about.” – Jack Canfield

Do you have dreams that make you smile? Goals you make fervent plans for and do your best to achieve? Do you share these dreams and goals with your loved ones, family members, co-workers and close friends?

If so, you’re probably well-versed in how to get more of what you want. If not, perhaps you could use a little encouragement. You can get more of what you want. Here’s how.
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General

Happiness as a Choice

There are thousands of theories of happiness and how people feel such profound personal satisfaction that they are genuinely happy people. Some believe that happiness comes from achieving your goals. Others believe it comes when certain parts of their life come together the way they want. Some feel that happiness comes when their perspective is validated. The common factor here is the control for happiness. It is true that many things and actions can make you happy, however to remain happy long-term is the real struggle.

A professional may feel happy once he or she gets the big bonus that can pay for the car they always wanted. Once they get that car, they feel happier because it's new and they earned it. They feel happy in the moment and for as long as that new-car-high lasts.
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General

Feeling Stuck? How to Help Yourself

We all have had moments when we felt “stuck” or like we’ve hit a wall. Being stuck is an inner feeling of stagnation and paralysis that feels beyond our control. And feeling stuck causes us to feel hopeless about our lives and powerlessness to change it.

When we feel stuck, we question our core purpose, our life’s path, and even our past and future decisions. Feeling stuck makes our lives seem confusing, hopeless and uninspired, and it’s not a surprise to learn that feeling stuck often underlies anxiety, sadness, depression and substance abuse.
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Ethics & Morality

Living a Valued Life: 5 Steps to Clarify Your Values

Your life is important. We all have moments of doubt and fear that can make us feel small, inferior and unworthy. These thoughts do not control us and they have no power over us. We can choose to live a valued and purposeful life that has meaning and invigorates our spirit. Here are some steps that you can take right now to live in accordance with your values, goals and dreams.

What does it mean to live a valued life?
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Anxiety and Panic

Comparison: The Perfectionist’s Incessant Urge

Alice had experienced many successes in her youth. She was gifted with athletic skills, intelligence, and an outgoing personality. She qualified for a scholarship in college and graduated with honors from a prestigious program. Alice enjoyed the praise of others, and felt she should be happy but was not. She had developed the habit of comparing herself with others. When she could not keep up with what she believed were others’ expectations, she felt anxious and depressed. She would say, “If I make a mistake, others will judge me, and I will be nothing!”

Perfectionism is a topic of interest to many because of the impact it can have in individuals’ lives. There is nothing wrong with having a desire to succeed in life and doing what it takes to accomplish it. The problem is when individuals get stuck in the minutia in order to avoid fears such as self-doubt, impressing others, or failure.
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