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General

Why We Sabotage Ourselves

Counseling psychologist Rosy Saenz-Sierzega, Ph.D, was working with a client who yearned to find a better job. But he wouldn’t apply for any job until his resume was ready.

The problem? It was taking him months to “perfect” it.

In reality, he was sabotaging his success, ensuring he’d stay stuck at his current company.

Sometimes, we sabotage ourselves by setting unrealistic expectations. We decide to try something when we can do it perfectly—which means we don’t do anything at all. We stay in the dead-end job. We stay in the toxic relationship. We don’t finish the degree.
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Anger

8 Everyday Thoughts that Limit Your Success and How to Change Them


Why do some of the most intelligent people sabotage their own success? It all goes back to unconscious everyday thoughts, also called cognitive distortions, first identified by psychologist Aaron Beck and Dr. David Burns.

It’s typical to have these irrational thoughts every now and then. Mindset missteps are common among even the brightest, most well-meaning people. We can all relate to that feeling of getting in our own way.  It’s simply part of being human, an evolutionary response designed to keep us safe and protected.
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ADHD and ADD

Want to Die? Call 911 & Hold a Closed Multi-Purpose Tool

You would think that university police would have such great mental health training -- given that they are dealing with a population of young adults exploring limits, learning about themselves, and one of the groups at the greatest risk for a first-episode incident of mental illness.

Apparently not at Georgia Tech. This is a school where I would never send my child, given the most recent incident of a person with mental illness being killed -- rather than being counseled -- in mid-September. One second of poor judgment on an officer's part, and suddenly an entire life is snuffed out. Not because a criminal was threatening anyone (other than himself) with harm. But simply because the man -- Scout Schultz -- had a mental illness.

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Agitation

Just Right: OCD and Kids

Landon was a bright intelligent child. He had excelled academically and also enjoyed sports. However, OCD appeared to be getting in the way of his life. There were times when he could not get out of bed because the thought of having to get dressed overwhelmed him. His socks needed to feel just right as well as his shirt and pants. He would repeat the behaviors until he felt just right about it. He seemed to be late to school every day.

Things in his room had to be just so. He would be angry and become aggressive when he noticed someone had been in his room. New belongings were challenging as well. When his parents bought him new items such as a backpack, shoes, or clothes, he refused to use or wear them. He quit violin lessons because playing the wrong notes distressed him. His parents felt helpless and lost.
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Anxiety and Panic

Comparison: The Perfectionist’s Incessant Urge

Alice had experienced many successes in her youth. She was gifted with athletic skills, intelligence, and an outgoing personality. She qualified for a scholarship in college and graduated with honors from a prestigious program. Alice enjoyed the praise of others, and felt she should be happy but was not. She had developed the habit of comparing herself with others. When she could not keep up with what she believed were others’ expectations, she felt anxious and depressed. She would say, “If I make a mistake, others will judge me, and I will be nothing!”

Perfectionism is a topic of interest to many because of the impact it can have in individuals’ lives. There is nothing wrong with having a desire to succeed in life and doing what it takes to accomplish it. The problem is when individuals get stuck in the minutia in order to avoid fears such as self-doubt, impressing others, or failure.
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Children and Teens

Driving Your Own Bus

“I am not going to Cancun,” I barked -- defiance lining my voice.  

Eyebrows arched, my saintly mother glowed at me. “What do you mean you aren’t going to Cancun? You are not spending the week at home; you can spend the weekend in Duluth with your grandfather,” she coolly responded.

“Fine, I’ll go see Grandpa Arnold,” I smirked before stomping off in a pique of high school frustration.
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Anxiety and Panic

Internet Therapy for Children with OCD

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is condition that affects about 2.2 million Americans and 750,000 people in the UK. It has two key features: thoughts that repeat themselves over and over again (called obsessive thoughts) and feeling that the person must do certain actions repeatedly (compulsions). The person thinks the thoughts are silly, but they cannot stop them. Sometimes only carrying out the actions stops the thoughts for a while. The typical example is thinking that your hands are dirty, even though you know they are not, and having to wash them repeatedly. The person can spend a huge chunk of the day carrying out these compulsions. This often makes it very difficult to function at all. This can be even more tragic when it affects a child.
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Children and Teens

Want Happy and Healthy Kids? Just Say “NO!”

When asked what they want for their kids, many parents respond, “I just want them to be happy and healthy.” Such a simple, harmless, laudable goal!

And yet, such an orientation frequently results in parents giving their kids too much stuff, too many experiences, at too early an age. The upshot: These kids become more harpy than happy. Rather than feeling grateful for what they’ve been given, they feel resentful that their every whim is not being satisfied.
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Children and Teens

Educating Teacher and Students about OCD

As many of us are well aware, obsessive-compulsive disorder is often misunderstood.

Though I do believe progress is being made (albeit slowly) there is still a serious lack of understanding surrounding OCD. Most upsetting to me is when I come across professionals such as doctors, social workers, therapists, and teachers, who have little to no knowledge of what OCD entails.
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ADHD and ADD

5 Things to Teach Your Child to Avoid Impulsivity & Behavioral Issues

Parenting a child with impulsivity and behavioral issues is one tough task, and in some cases when parents visit me and ask for help, they believe it is impossible to teach their kid to avoid these behaviors. Well, in this article I will be walking you through the things to teach your child in order to avoid impulsivity and bad behaviors.

First off, you have to understand what the cause of these behaviors is. If your kid just can't help it, then he or she may have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or some other condition that is not entirely his or her fault. And as a parent, it is important to know that it is not as a result of bad parenting but caused by a brain-based condition.
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