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When You Don’t Feel Like Yourself

Lately, you haven’t felt like yourself. Maybe you’re feeling extra anxious, a nervousness that’s taken up residence inside your stomach. Maybe you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. Maybe you’re experiencing a deep self-doubt, which you’ve never felt before. Maybe you feel disconnected from yourself.

Maybe you can’t pinpoint it. (Yet.) But all you know is that you feel off.*

Many people stop feeling like themselves after experiencing a major life event or major role change, said Dezryelle Arcieri, LMFT, a psychotherapist and yoga instructor in Seattle. Maybe you recently moved or started a new job. Maybe you just ended a relationship or got married. Maybe you had a baby or are grieving the loss of a loved one.
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Living in the Moment

We all have heard to live in the moment. Stay focused on the present. Concentrate on today. We understand that these sayings all have the same meaning: be in the here and now. Easier said than done sometimes, right? You're not alone in that feeling.

As humans we are conditioned to feel a variety of emotions at once. When we begin to think too far ahead or too far in the past, we lose sight of what is happening right in front of us in the moment of time we are in. It becomes increasingly prevalent when we are faced with life situations or circumstances that are beyond our own control. We want to hold on to something to ground us, so we look for something in our past or try to put our hopes into a future goal -- one which may not be realistic. It is a human struggle.
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Anxiety and Panic

Why We All Have Clutter and How to Get Rid of It

I feel like a massive hypocrite writing this piece, because substantial messes are found in virtually every square foot of my home.

In fact, the last time I broached the topic of clutter in a blog, I posted a photo of my book piles and nut collection and was immediately contacted by a hoarding show to be "fixed" by an expert.

Even though I fail miserably at decluttering my home, I do know it’s an important piece of
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Podcast: What’s It Really Like Being in a Psych Hospital?

In this episode of the Psych Central Show, hosts Gabe Howard and Vincent M. Wales discuss the myths and realities of being admitted to an inpatient psychiatric hospital. Gabe shares his personal experience of voluntarily entering a psychiatric hospital when he was suicidal. He tells of how his expectations of the situation differed from what he actually experienced. He shares what he found to be the most frightening aspects of his stay, as well as how he passed the time while there. He shares how his family reacted to his admission to the psychiatric hospital, and the aspect to the stay that he describes as “life-altering.”
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7 Ways to Better Understand and Be Understood

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood.” – Ralph Nichols
Being human, we all have certain basic needs. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs outlines them quite well and encompasses all that we generally think about when it comes to what we need.

Yet one of our most basic needs, the need to understand and be understood, seldom gets much attention.

It should.

Without the ability to understand what others say or the meaning behind their words, we can miss important cues, lose out on opportunities, fail to see changes in time to appropriately react, and go off in a totally different direction. Worse, if we lack understanding, we’re more prone to selfish acts than helping others.
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10 Simple Mindfulness Practices to Try Right Now

People often tell Zen teacher Jay Chozen Bays, M.D., that they’d love to practice mindfulness. But they’re too busy. They have too much going on. You probably feel the same way. After all, it’s another activity to add to your already full schedule. It’s another activity to feel guilty about not doing. And who wants that?

Thankfully, you can easily include mindfulness in your life. Yes, it requires a switch in perspective. But you don’t need to be on a meditation cushion for an hour to savor the benefits.

Bays, also a pediatrician, wife, mother and grandmother, understands what it’s like to have a bustling life. She created a wonderful deck of cards, aptly called
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Why You Need to Cultivate Self-Love

Self-love -- really? Isn’t it conceited, selfish, unpleasant, arrogant, narcissistic, vain and full of false pride? It is, if ego-based and full of self-importance. However, there is a different kind of self-love you really need.

The right kind of Self-Love.

Real self-love is a spiritually based attitude towards yourself. With it you recognize and appreciate your intrinsic value as a human being. You have respect for your life, time and energy. You nurture yourself with self-care. You do not allow others to take advantage of you or treat you badly. You accept yourself unconditionally with all your limitations. And when you have been less than perfect, you treat yourself with a compassionate mindset.
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Marriage and Divorce

More Terrible Relationship Advice

There’s a lot of bad relationship advice out there—whether you find it in how-to articles, on the shelves of your local bookstore, or in conversations around the dinner table. When followed, it can spoil your relationship or a future relationship.

We’ve already featured some terrible tips in this earlier piece. Today, we’re sharing several more unhelpful perspectives, along with advice that genuinely helps.

Adjust your age or number of sex partners. Beginning your relationship with a lie is basically the antithesis to what relationships are. “The foundation to a healthy and successful relationship is security; both people need to know they can be vulnerable, open, and honest without losing the bond,” said Jennine Estes, a marriage and family therapist who owns a group practice called 
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Anxiety and Panic

25 Quotes that Will Help You Face Your Fears

We often poke fun at our fears, but for many people, fear gets in the way of well-being and compromises quality of life.

An estimated 8.7 percent of Americans, or 19.2 million people, suffer from a specific phobia like glossophobia (fear of public speaking) or necrophobia (fear of death). Even if you don’t have a specific phobia, you can probably appreciate that feeling of fear that blows in like a severe storm, interrupting your daily responsibilities and robbing you of your enthusiasm for life.
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We Are All Inherently Worthwhile: How to ‘Try On’ Worthiness

If you do not feel worthwhile, you may suffer from depression, torment yourself with self-criticism and/or lack the confidence you need to get where you want to in your life.

You may feel unworthy because:

Your parents or caretakers treated you as if you were not lovable during your formative years. As a result, you may have developed the perception that something was wrong with you, failing to realize that the uncaring treatment you received was caused by your parent’s unhappiness, emotional limitations, etc., rather than your unworthiness.
You do not measure up to the expectations that you or others have regarding your physical appearance, professional success, economic status and so on. You may mistakenly believe that you need to “earn” your worth by meeting these expectations and that feeling unworthy will somehow propel you to become the person you want to be.
You constantly compare yourself negatively to others. There will always be people who are more talented, accomplished, wealthier, better looking, etc., than each one of us. When we compare ourselves to them, we are left feeling inadequate and unworthy.
You are afraid to give yourself the gift of self-worth because you fear it will cause you to be self-centered. I assure you, there is nothing self-centered or selfish about knowing you are inherently worthwhile. In fact, people who feel worthy and whole within themselves have no need to be self-centered and can instead turn their energies to caring for others.

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The Worst Relationship Advice

There’s no shortage of relationship advice. You see it all over the Internet—from dating do’s and don’ts to habits that build your bond. You see it on the shelves of your local bookstore—titles on everything from how to communicate to how to behave to how to understand men (or women). You hear suggestions from your best friend, mom and even your colleagues. And certainly, many movies and TV shows paint all sorts of pictures of “real” love.

Of course, not all advice is created equal. And following some of it can actually be detrimental to your relationship or future romance.

We asked relationship experts to share the worst relationship advice they’ve ever heard. Below, you’ll find their insights—along with what really works.
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Not Sure How to Respond? Take These 5 Steps to Assess Your Feelings

Feelings are essential in our daily life. Unfortunately, many people shy away from their feelings, often out of fear of expressing them. While others end up giving their emotions free range and allowing them to rule their lives.

But feelings have an important function. They allow us to better understand our environment and our relationships. And research shows that emotions that were once deemed “bad,” such as anger and contempt, are not necessarily so.  

There are times when it's necessary for you to express anger, such as when you observe an injustice. In fact, you actually do yourself more harm by bottling up these emotions. But this doesn't mean you should go ahead and express anger and contempt all the time. It's necessary to assess whether you're having healthy emotional reactions.
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