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Family

Betrayal — Don’t Go It Alone

What do you do when you discover that your partner has betrayed you? Who do you tell? Who do you lean on for support, advice and a reality check? Where do you turn when you are hurt, enraged and devastated? On whom do you lean for urgent comfort with the burden of secrecy during this traumatic experience?

As you journey through this very painful time you may experience shame, humiliation, rage, devastation, resentment, contempt, guilt, anger, uncertainty and fear. You should not be alone. Isolation is a deserted path to depression. That said, what do you do with all your feelings? And, since it's not something that goes away overnight but lives within you 24/7, what do you do with that gut-wrenching pain? To whom do you reach, if not your hurtful partner?
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Creativity

5 Creative Ways to Connect as a Family

The most powerful way to genuinely connect with anyone is to give them our time and attention—genuine, all-in, physical and emotional attention. Without our phones. Without any electronics. Which, of course, is very hard to do today. Because we’re all busy, making important calls and answering important emails. We’re all working hard for our families. We’re all doing our best.

But there are small, meaningful ways we can connect every single day—all the while encouraging and sharpening our kids’ creativity, curiosity, compassion, sense of self and problem-solving skills.
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Family

5 Ways to Curb Social Media During the Holidays

The holidays are fast upon us and, in the blink of an eye, Thanksgiving, Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa, and New Year’s Eve will have already come and gone. Along with the holiday season comes much time spent with family from near and far, attending parties, preparing elaborate holiday dinners, and buying expensive gifts to show loved ones how much we care about them.

For some, the holidays are a time to reconnect with family and friends they might not get the chance to see at other times of the year, bringing about feelings of joy and happiness. But for others the holidays can stir up unwanted feelings of angst, depression, and anxiety, and the holidays can be triggers for eliciting feelings of low self-esteem and shame by drawing comparisons to others.            
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ADHD and ADD

ADHD and Abandonment: A Powerful Lesson

Abandonment has been an issue of mine for as long as I can remember. I'd have an absolute panic going to school, hugging my mom relentlessly asking her not to let me go. When she went to work, I'd hold on to her leg and she would drag me around the house, explaining that while she loved me she also had to help others (a school counselor) and I would have fun when I got there (which, I might add, I always did).

Then there was my grandfather's death when I was in high school. My calm, comforting, patient, understanding grandpa Pete. He was always my island of calm in the storms of my life. And watching him succumb to ALS when I was in high school, it literally crumbled me. I remember at his funeral I locked myself in the bathroom in a ball on the floor sobbing uncontrollably at his departure.
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Children and Teens

Becoming a More Confident Parent

A typical modern family is so different from one a few generations ago that it’s like a “Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus” paradigm. The kids, propped up by their sub-culture, have usurped the power parents used to have, while the parents, on the defensive, struggle to maintain confidence and control.

Parents are often unsure about what to say; how to behave; whether to punish. Their offspring, in contrast, have no hesitation challenging their parents about their unfair, stupid rules. They counter their parents’ attempts to be in control with impudence, insolence, interruptions and what might be best described as "copping an attitude."
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Anger

Use This DBT Skill to Manage Your Emotions and Enhance Your Life

Our thoughts and emotions generally dictate what we do. Which makes sense since we act based on the information our brains automatically give us. So if we’re anxious about speaking in public, we probably will avoid it. After all, we interpret it as a threat, and our brains—and bodies—don’t like threats. If we’re sad, deeply sad, we might isolate ourselves, for days, because we yearn to be alone. If we’re angry with our spouse, we might yell...
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Happiness

How to Win Even When You Fail

What do the premier designer Vera Wang, the famous 1800s scientist and author of “On the Origin of Species” Charles Darwin, and NPR radio icon Terry Gross have in common? They all failed. And it wasn’t just the trial-and-error, have-to-pay-your-dues kind of failures that most anyone has to endure in order to succeed in any given field. These talented people actually failed to reach their initial dreams, aspirations that were based on entirely different professions than what they are so famously known for!
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Self-Help

Counter Stress with Serenity

Counter Stress with Serenity! Find out how you can fit it into your busy life.

Everybody knows about stress. Too much to do, too little time, problems, issues, irritations and whatever else makes life complicated and frantic. But serenity? Isn’t that a very old-fashioned idea with no relevance in the modern world? Quite the contrary, it is essential for well-being and counteracting the damaging effects of stress on body, mind and soul. But how to practice it in a fast-paced life?
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Aging

Finding New Friends After 40

A client, age 45, finds herself without close friendships in the wake of a difficult divorce. “Most of my friends are part of couples that my husband and I hung out with. It’s just plain awkward to try to be part of that group anymore.”

My 70-year-old client is lonely. “Most of the friends I thought I’d grow old with have died,” she explained. “I miss them terribly, of course. But I also miss just having people to do things with.”
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Habits

4 Steps to Making Any Change You Desire

Lucy was drawing to a close in her counseling work with me when she said, "You know, this isn’t how I thought I would feel."

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"When I started counseling," she said, "I thought I’d have to become a completely different person in order to be happier. That I had to fix a deficiency in some way that seemed impossible and overwhelming. But it turns out that this feeling I have now -- of lightness, of possibility, of more confidence and trust in myself -- I just needed to lean into that more. Asking myself ‘in the moment’ if something is right for me is not selfish, but is actually kinder to others as well as me. I’m pleasantly surprised and so relieved that I didn’t need to transform into someone else to be more content."
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Family

Five Tips to Beat Holiday Stress


The holidays can be a difficult time of year. Whether it's depression, family drama, anxiety, or the fear of missing out, the holiday blues can be difficult to beat. Listed below are five constructive ways to help make the holidays happier -- or at least more bearable.

1. Take Time for Yourself


The hustle and bustle of the holiday season can quickly become overwhelming, creating the ideal environment for anxiety to flourish. While our minds are preoccupied by plans with friends and family, we often forget about ourselves. Taking a moment to breathe and relax can help reduce anxiety, allowing for a happier holiday.
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