Children and Teens

Free Webinar: “Failure to Launch” Revisited: Why Young Adults Can’t Break Free

A decade ago we had the "failure to launch 20-somethings" or the "boomerang" kids who came back to live with mom and dad. A kind of "blaming the victim" approach was adopted to say, what's wrong with these kids, instead of, what's wrong with the world they live in. We have said it was because there were no jobs or they couldn't stick to anything because they were self-absorbed millennials, or worse, just lazy kids unprepared for the real world. A closer look shows that they are up against both internal and external barriers too numerous to overcome. Let's look at some of the real reasons and give them the support they need.

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General

Expectations and Your Relationship

William Shakespeare once said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.”

Ask yourself a question. Have you ever been disappointed because something did not turn out the way you expected? Why did you have such a strong belief something would happen?

We all have high expectations at one point or another, only to be disappointed when things do not turn out the way we wanted. It can get the best of us at any given moment. When those expectations are not met, we need to keep in mind the way it affects us.
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Grief and Loss

A Practical Tip for Developing a Stress-Resilient Life

“Your dad’s had a heart attack.”  

My own heart shot into my throat, hearing my mother’s garbled words a thousand miles away.

“He’s going to be okay, but maybe you could fly out?”

It’s been almost two years since my father’s heart attack and he’s made important changes that have improved his life quality considerably. Both my grandfather and grandmother died of heart disease. They experienced immense socio-economic challenges and faced more stressful life situations than I could possibly imagine.

However, this part of my own family history has inspired me to explore ways to reduce stress in my own life and the lives of my clients. Today, I would like to share with you one idea I find incredibly useful in building a stress-resilient life.   
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Depression

Overcoming Sorrow

“Sorrow comes to all… Perfect reality is not possible, except with time. You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better and yet you are sure to be happy again.” – Abraham Lincoln
Sorrow is the opposite of happiness, yet both are part of human existence.

Like life and death and the changing of seasons, it should be familiar enough to recognize that things have a sequence. Sometimes that sequence is a time of birth or rebirth, a creative force that erases failure and negativity. Other times, however, there’s a clearly defined sense of decay, lack of progress, mistakes and endings.

The key to overcoming sorrow and
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General

How to Metabolize a Compliment

When you receive a compliment, do you get squirmy, suspicious, or uncomfortable? Or do words of appreciation bring a gentle smile to your face and a warm feeling in your belly?

When someone thanks you for helping them, or expresses gratitude for your kind words or actions, or praises you for some accomplishment or quality of your being, do you let yourself be affected by their thoughtful words? Or do their compliments fall flat, perhaps because you’ve learned to deflect good things that come your way?
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Children and Teens

This Can Make Working Motherhood Needlessly Harder — But You Can Change It

When you’re traveling for work, do you tell yourself that you’re abandoning your children and dodging your responsibilities as a wife and mom? When you’re working from home, and you let your child play by themselves, do you tell yourself that you’re a neglectful mom? Do you tell yourself that you can’t do any of it right—neither the parenting nor the working?
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Mindfulness

The Active Practice of Unconditional Love

“Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being. It's not 'I love you' for this or that reason, not 'I love you if you love me.' It's love for no reason, love without an object.” - Ram Dass
This quote by treasured spiritual teacher Ram Dass (a.k.a. Richard Alpert. Ph.D.), who was a Harvard professor in the 1960’s, echoes with the ideal that people hold when speaking of this concept.

We learn from an early age, that approval and affirmation come with a price tag. We are told to be good, follow the rules, be seen and not heard, do for others, and refrain from selfishness and all will be well in each area of our lives. As we mature, we find that it may not always be so.
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ADHD and ADD

5 Ways to Support a Spouse with ADHD and Work as a Team

You love your spouse. You love their compassion, clever sense of humor, spontaneous spirit and many other terrific traits. But you find yourself getting more and more frustrated with them. You find yourself taking on most of the responsibilities, like cleaning and paying the bills.

In short, it doesn’t always feel like a 50/50 partnership, said Terry Matlen, MSW, ACSW, a psychotherapist and ADHD coach who also has ADHD.
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Self-Help

Commonsense Ways to Make Sure You Adapt

“Conditions are always changing, and real peace lies in the ability to adapt to these changes.” – Mingyur Rinpoche
When things don’t seem to go right, what’s your first thought? Do you just give up or do you vow to try a different approach? If you ditch the effort simply because you’ve run into difficulty, you’re not only giving yourself a reason to call yourself a failure (albeit mistakenly), you’re also depriving yourself of the opportunity to learn.

Learn...
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Anxiety and Panic

Freedom from Fear: Freedom to Live the Life You Want

My last blog on The New ABC of Managing Difficult Emotions outlines a simple process that many of you have told me is really helpful.

Many of you emailed me asking for the downloadable graphic. Many of you shared how you were going to use this process: with your children, to manage your own emotions and to help your clients. I am so glad.

There is one story I want to share with you, because it is so clear and inspiring -- and so helpful for others to consider as well.
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