Children and Teens

Pain, Creativity, and Secret Notebook Excerpts

If you own (or used to own) a diary, have you ever looked through your past entries in an unsuspectingly good mood and found yourself offended by your own depressive writings? Don’t worry, you may not quite be the Negative Nancy that your diary paints you out to be, or a person who is perpetually bummed out. You don’t necessarily have to look back upon the works of your 15-year old self and cringe at your 67th “I’m am so alone” entry; as silly as you think they may sound now, these feelings were real at the point of time they were written, and every bit valid considering how circumstances were back then.
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Creativity

How to Live Life to the Fullest

In 2007 travel writer Leigh Ann Henion was on a mountaintop in Mexico watching a million monarchs soar above her. The butterflies had left their homes in Canada and the U.S. to wait out the winter -- flying up to 3,000 miles to get there. “Their wings against the air sounded like a light rainstorm falling on a verdant forest,” Henion writes in her beautiful book Phenomenal: A Hesitant Adventurer’s Search for Wonder in the Natural World.
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College

How to Say No When Someone Asks to “Pick Your Brain”


When you’re an expert in any field, people may regularly ask to “pick your brain,” buy you lunch or some other form of asking for advice. For free, of course.

If you feel conflicted at time like these, it makes perfect sense. Your schedule is packed, yet your instinct might still be to jump in and help. In fact, your generosity and desire to make a difference likely played a huge part in you going into business to begin with.
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Self-Esteem

Improvement Means Progress

“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.” – Mark Twain
If you’re waiting for everything to be right, you’ll find that you never get anything done. Of course, you want the result for any undertaking to be the best it can be, but striving for perfection will only delay completion. If you give it everything you’ve got, however, you won’t have anything to feel sorry about.
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Children and Teens

Free Webinar: “Failure to Launch” Revisited: Why Young Adults Can’t Break Free

A decade ago we had the "failure to launch 20-somethings" or the "boomerang" kids who came back to live with mom and dad. A kind of "blaming the victim" approach was adopted to say, what's wrong with these kids, instead of, what's wrong with the world they live in. We have said it was because there were no jobs or they couldn't stick to anything because they were self-absorbed millennials, or worse, just lazy kids unprepared for the real world. A closer look shows that they are up against both internal and external barriers too numerous to overcome. Let's look at some of the real reasons and give them the support they need.

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General

Expectations and Your Relationship

William Shakespeare once said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.”

Ask yourself a question. Have you ever been disappointed because something did not turn out the way you expected? Why did you have such a strong belief something would happen?

We all have high expectations at one point or another, only to be disappointed when things do not turn out the way we wanted. It can get the best of us at any given moment. When those expectations are not met, we need to keep in mind the way it affects us.
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Grief and Loss

A Practical Tip for Developing a Stress-Resilient Life

“Your dad’s had a heart attack.”  

My own heart shot into my throat, hearing my mother’s garbled words a thousand miles away.

“He’s going to be okay, but maybe you could fly out?”

It’s been almost two years since my father’s heart attack and he’s made important changes that have improved his life quality considerably. Both my grandfather and grandmother died of heart disease. They experienced immense socio-economic challenges and faced more stressful life situations than I could possibly imagine.

However, this part of my own family history has inspired me to explore ways to reduce stress in my own life and the lives of my clients. Today, I would like to share with you one idea I find incredibly useful in building a stress-resilient life.   
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Depression

Overcoming Sorrow

“Sorrow comes to all… Perfect reality is not possible, except with time. You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better and yet you are sure to be happy again.” – Abraham Lincoln
Sorrow is the opposite of happiness, yet both are part of human existence.

Like life and death and the changing of seasons, it should be familiar enough to recognize that things have a sequence. Sometimes that sequence is a time of birth or rebirth, a creative force that erases failure and negativity. Other times, however, there’s a clearly defined sense of decay, lack of progress, mistakes and endings.

The key to overcoming sorrow and
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General

How to Metabolize a Compliment

When you receive a compliment, do you get squirmy, suspicious, or uncomfortable? Or do words of appreciation bring a gentle smile to your face and a warm feeling in your belly?

When someone thanks you for helping them, or expresses gratitude for your kind words or actions, or praises you for some accomplishment or quality of your being, do you let yourself be affected by their thoughtful words? Or do their compliments fall flat, perhaps because you’ve learned to deflect good things that come your way?
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Children and Teens

This Can Make Working Motherhood Needlessly Harder — But You Can Change It

When you’re traveling for work, do you tell yourself that you’re abandoning your children and dodging your responsibilities as a wife and mom? When you’re working from home, and you let your child play by themselves, do you tell yourself that you’re a neglectful mom? Do you tell yourself that you can’t do any of it right—neither the parenting nor the working?
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Mindfulness

The Active Practice of Unconditional Love

“Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being. It's not 'I love you' for this or that reason, not 'I love you if you love me.' It's love for no reason, love without an object.” - Ram Dass
This quote by treasured spiritual teacher Ram Dass (a.k.a. Richard Alpert. Ph.D.), who was a Harvard professor in the 1960’s, echoes with the ideal that people hold when speaking of this concept.

We learn from an early age, that approval and affirmation come with a price tag. We are told to be good, follow the rules, be seen and not heard, do for others, and refrain from selfishness and all will be well in each area of our lives. As we mature, we find that it may not always be so.
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