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How to Recognize Your Innate Self-Worth

You don’t feel very good about yourself. You search for a boost everywhere. In relationships. On the scale. At a job you don’t even like. Even at the bottom of a shot glass.

You feel the need to earn your self-worth, as though it were a bulletin board with gold stars; stars you earn by performing certain deeds and achieving certain accomplishments.

What you forget—or what others helped you forget—is that you are inherently worthy.
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Psychology Around the Net: August 12, 2017

Happy Saturday, sweet readers!

I have a busy, busy day today. First, I'm having a meeting with family members to make some important (but fun!) plans, and then after a couple of hours of downtime (I hope), I'll be out celebrating one of my city's annual events.

You, too, might have a busy Saturday planned. However, that's no reason to skip out on this week's Psychology Around the Net! Bookmark it if you have to, because this week we have information about why people in supportive relationships are more likely to accept challenges and experience personal growth, why some of us are so dissatisfied (apparently it boils down to biology?!), how a board-certified psychiatrist is part of the world of exorcisms, and more.

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Marriage and Divorce

The Differences in Divorce for Men and Women

The divorce rate for a first marriage in America is between 40-50%. After a first divorce, the common assumption is that a second marriage will fare better from previous learned experience. The divorce rate for a second marriage is between 60-67%. Although many people who have divorced twice continue to marry again, the success rates are not in their favor. The divorce rate for a third marriage increases to roughly 70%.

Couples with children have a slightly lower rate of breaking up, but divorce impacts more than just the children. Both wife and husband are greatly impacted by divorce. They suffer in both similar and different ways depending on their gender.
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Increase Your Body Confidence: 3 Steps that You Can Practice Today

Americans spend billions of dollars on weight-loss and workout programs in order to try to achieve the “perfect body.” Advertisements promise confidence, improved self-esteem, impeccable health, and romance once the perfect body is achieved.

The myth that we are presented with is that we are just not trying hard enough if we aren't thin.  

The ads, and even our healthcare system, do not acknowledge the scientific evidence that body size and shape are under significant genetic control. Body composition is a lot more complex than simply calories-in and calories-out.   
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What Does It Really Mean to Be Needy?

We hear the word “needy” thrown around in conversation all the time. Usually it’s brought up with contempt. Ughhh, she’s so needy. She calls all the time, and wants to know where I am. It’s ridiculous. His neediness is just too much. He wants to spend every single moment together.

The details of the conversations might be different. But that doesn’t matter. The message is the same: Needy is not something we want to be. Needy is one of the worst things we can be in a relationship. In our society, neediness is seen as an undesirable trait, a character flaw.

But it’s none of these things.
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How to Overcome Rejection Like a Champ

None of us are immune to rejection.

It doesn’t matter where you are in life, or whether it’s ending a marriage or breaking up with a partner. Even the strongest of us can’t help but feel like we did something wrong when the person we loved and cared about and spent our lives with as a partner suddenly doesn’t want to be with us anymore.

“Why don’t they love me anymore?”
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Success-Syndrome: The Ambition-Depression Connection

When she was just 13 years old, Jenn Cohen fell in love with the circus and was determined to make a career out of it, which was highly unusual at the time.She explained in an inspiring TEDx talk that she worked incredibly hard to get to a point in her career where she “arrived,” performing in Europe, garnering accolades and attention -- the place where she always aspired to be.

And yet she felt empty.

“I was under the illusion that once I was able to prove myself, that those feelings of self-doubt and low self-worth would disappear,” she said.
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What to Do When You Feel Lonely

You feel so lonely.

You are home on a Friday night without any plans. Or you’re sitting in a restaurant with a group of friends, and yet you still feel lonely.

Or you’re sitting on the subway, on your way to work, and the feeling of loneliness sneaks into that space, too. Or you’re perusing social media, looking at photos of glistening faces, of glistening lives. And the ache of loneliness surges. Or you think you’re the only one who gets panicked at the grocery store, the only one who still mourns a loved one’s loss 30 years later, the only one who doesn’t speak to their family, the only one who feels lost.
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Anxiety and Panic

How Twitter Tamed My Anxiety

I’m sure a lot of you reading this are having a difficult time believing that Twitter could help decrease anxiety. I wouldn’t have believed it before I tweeted myself. In fact, the only reason I ventured into Twitter territory was because a social media expert at a writer’s conference highly recommended it, saying it was “a virtual cocktail party for writers.” With shaky hands -- literally -- I created my Twitter account that very day.

Five years have gone by since that first login. During this time, I’ve connected with Twitter folk from all over the world, people who are passionate about many of the same topics I am, including the arts, civil rights, and, of course, mental health issues. When I read about other people’s journeys through anxiety and depression, I became less isolated. And, may I add, less ashamed as well.
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The Feeling that You Are “Not Enough”

Mike believed he had a good life and felt lucky for all the things he had. He was married to a loving wife, had a good job, owned a nice house, and had 3 healthy kids.

Despite all his good fortune, Mike could not shake the nagging feeling that he wasn’t enough. "I should be more successful. I should make more money. I should be where my boss is. I should have a graduate degree. I should have a bigger house. I should have more friends." These were some of the “shoulds” that plagued him on a daily basis.
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Forgiveness: Why You Should Consider It and How to Forgive

A gift to yourself  

The idea of forgiveness makes many people shout, Never!!  Indeed, resentment, blame, recrimination, and desire for revenge seem so much more natural than forgiveness.

Is there anything to be gained by forgiving an offender?

Formerly associated only with spiritual wellbeing, it is now known that it also enhances emotional, mental and physical health. Releasing resentment, hatred and bitterness breaks the troubling connection with the offender. No longer consumed by what was done to you, you can move away from and beyond the offense. Without the crippling emotions, wounds can turn into strength and wisdom.
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