Habits

How to Recognize and Foster Your Ability

“Ability and necessity dwell near each other.” – Pythagoras
What are you good at? If you must stop and think about it, that’s not a dreadful thing. In fact, it’s probably long overdue. The truth is that we get so busy living life and taking care of all the myriad tasks and responsibilities we need to tend to every day that we often don’t take the time to slow down and reflect. In this case, reflect on what we do very well, what really
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General

How to Stop Speaking Harshly to Yourself

Recently, I read an interview with author Danielle LaPorte where she stated that she never speaks meanly to herself. “Not ever.”

This blew my mind. Because even though I write regularly about practicing self-compassion and embracing ourselves, I still struggle with harsh self-talk.

I’m guessing you do, too.

It might not be all day every day. Your cruel self-talk might slither in after you make a bad decision, after you hurt someone’s feelings, after you make a mistake at work, after you have an “unproductive” day, after you fail a test, after you don’t achieve a goal.
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General

When You Never Feel Good Enough

Lately, you never seem to feel good enough. Maybe you directly and regularly tell yourself: I’m not good enough. I’m not smart, skilled, capable, talented, attractive or thin enough. Maybe the question Am I good enough? reverberates through your brain and body.

Maybe you don’t utter these exact words. But, when you delve deeper, you realize that the painful feeling pervades and dictates your actions. You don’t pursue a promotion or request a raise. You won’t get it anyway. You remain in unfulfilling relationships. It’s what you deserve. You let people cross your boundaries. Why would you stand up for yourself?
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Anxiety and Panic

When Your Kid Is an Athlete and a Perfectionist

Joe loved playing soccer and if he had a choice, he would spend all his waking hours playing the sport. He was also a high achiever in other areas of his life. He was proud of the A’s he received in all his classes. He was multi-talented and his parents were pleased with his efforts. However, by the time he entered 10th grade, his parents noticed he had started to become highly critical of himself whenever his team lost. It was difficult for him to get over his own mistakes. He’d punish himself by increasing his practice time and avoid hanging out with his friends.
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Anxiety and Panic

Passing Life’s Quiz


“Why did you glance over there? Were you trying to cheat? You are a cheater!” my mind shrieks.

Before a high-pressure exam, these falsehoods stampede through my mind like a bulldozing running back. And they are just as powerful.

My offense: glancing over at the neighboring test taker.

But reality doesn’t stop the incoming tsunami of intrusive, unwanted thoughts. “Maybe you are a cheater; maybe you were trying to get an unfair advantage,” my mind barks.
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Anorexia

‘My Daughter Won’t Eat!’ 3 Tips if Your Teen Struggles with Disordered Eating


So, its dinner time and you’ve been logging away hours at the stove preparing what you thought was your daughter’s favorite meal; mashed potatoes, steak, and green beans. She has always loved this meal. Ever since she was very young, her favorite food has been mashed potatoes. But this night is different, just like most of the nights the past 2 months. Sally, 13 years old, wont eat. You pray and hope each night will be better. Just maybe, she will have a few more bites than the night before. Sally sits down to eat and oh, no. She isn’t eating, again. She slowly moves her green beans around on the plate, pretends to take bites, and gulps down her water, filling herself up with liquid instead. This is your life lately and you have no idea what to do.
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General

Do Your Best

“Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret.” – Don Miguel Ruiz
The recommendation to do your best comes up a lot in general conversation, especially from well-meaning friends and family members, but also from bosses and co-workers. There are countless posts on the topic, each purporting to have a better approach -- or holding out the hope of a brilliant solution.
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College

How to Say No When Someone Asks to “Pick Your Brain”


When you’re an expert in any field, people may regularly ask to “pick your brain,” buy you lunch or some other form of asking for advice. For free, of course.

If you feel conflicted at time like these, it makes perfect sense. Your schedule is packed, yet your instinct might still be to jump in and help. In fact, your generosity and desire to make a difference likely played a huge part in you going into business to begin with.
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Self-Esteem

Improvement Means Progress

“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.” – Mark Twain
If you’re waiting for everything to be right, you’ll find that you never get anything done. Of course, you want the result for any undertaking to be the best it can be, but striving for perfection will only delay completion. If you give it everything you’ve got, however, you won’t have anything to feel sorry about.
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