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General

How to Start Loving Yourself

There’s a great quote attributed to Lucille Ball: “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” And you really have to love yourself to love others, and to create a fulfilling life.

However, many of us aren’t sure what self-love even looks like. Once something becomes a buzzword, it tends to lose its meaning and significance. It becomes relegated to a trend. It gets dismissed.

So what does it mean to love ourselves?
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College

Feeling Lonely at College

There's nothing so bad as feeling alone in a crowd. When you first get to college, it can feel like a pretty overwhelming event. Sure, you get to meet a lot of new people, some of who may even become your friends.

But when you're alone at night in your room, the feeling of deep loneliness can creep in as you realize there's no one here that really knows you. And being that lonely while at university can really mess with your head.

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Creativity

Exploring Our Deepest Truths Through Writing

Exploring our deepest truths can be difficult. Sometimes what we find when we open the door is darkness. Sometimes what we find is inconvenient or embarrassing or upsetting. But it is also liberating and important. Because knowing ourselves, truly knowing ourselves, is what helps us to build meaningful, fulfilling lives. It is what helps us to make good decisions. It is what helps us to know what is right—and not right—for us.

One way to explore our deepest truths is through writing.

Because when you write, it’s just you and the page. In fact, this might be one of the only times you’re alone, to think, to reflect, to just be. Yourself. There is no pretending or impressing. There are no distractions, devices or to-dos.
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General

When You Feel Lost

Lately, you’ve been feeling lost.

A loved one passed away. Your relationship ended. You were overlooked for a promotion. You failed an important exam. An opportunity fell through. Your life is taking a direction you didn’t think it would.

You are dumbfounded. You feel numb. You feel helpless, maybe even hopeless. Everything has a gray hue.

Or you aren’t sure why you feel lost. But you do. You feel utterly aimless, like you’re floating from random task to random task.
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Family

Pleasure from Someone Else’s Pain

When I hear a word not commonly used in my vernacular twice in a period of a few days, I know I need not wait for a third time to explore the concept.

Schadenfreude (pronounced ‘shade n froid’) which comes from German and originates from the words ‘harm’ and ‘joy. It is defined as, “enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others.” Chances are, you know someone who indulges in this practice, or perhaps, you do so yourself. It may seem like human nature to wish ill will on someone who wreaks havoc or does harm to others. As much as I am aware that cause and effect ultimately occurs, I take a page from those I know who practice the religion of Wicca as they don’t believe in casting negative spells since they hold firmly to the idea that what they put out into the world, returns 10-fold. Better not to evoke bad karma.
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Anger

How to Transition from Enemy to Friend

“Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.” – Martin Luther King
It certainly sounds like an impossibility. If you have an enemy, how can that person ever become a friend? This isn’t the recommended religious practice of turning the other cheek that we’re familiar with from the Bible, but close. Still, something about the process involved in transitioning from enemy to friend seems rather difficult.

Maybe not. Here are some examples of effectively transitioning from enemy to friend. Hint: A lot of the transformation has to do with
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Anger

The Problem with Yelling


“The problem with verbal abuse is there is no evidence,” Marta shared. She came for help with a long-standing depression.

“What do you mean lack of evidence?” I asked.

“When people are physically or sexually abused it’s concrete and real. But verbal abuse is amorphous. I feel like if I told someone I was verbally abused, they’d think I was just complaining about being yelled at,” Marta explained.

“It’s much more than that,” I confirmed.

“Much more,” she said.
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Marriage and Divorce

Money, Sex, & Secrets: Keep Them from Ending Your Relationship


Every relationship is stressful. What matters is how you DEAL with it.

Couples across cultures and continents — of all races and religions, economics and demographics — experience the same human emotion when faced with relationship challenges and marriage problems.

It feels like nothing ever gets resolved, the dance just keeps repeating itself.

It’s a merry-go-round of pain, misunderstanding, hurtful words and blame that gets uglier with each turn of the wheel.

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Bullying

The Ties Between Crime and Malignant Narcissism

What do Jim Jones, OJ Simpson, and Ted Bundy all have in common? They were charismatic, charming, and had the ability to influence almost anyone. They also demonstrated specific characteristics associated with malignant narcissism.


Malignant narcissism is known as a mixture of narcissism and antisocial personality disorder. They lack empathy and often live in grandiose fantasies that compete with reality. If the fantasies are revealed as such, the afflicted person may become hostile with high levels of rage.


Malignant narcissism is not an individual diagnosis in the DSM, rather it is a subset of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. As well as having symptoms of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a person with malignant narcissism also displays paranoia.
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Bipolar

Psychology Around the Net: August 12, 2017


Happy Saturday, sweet readers!

I have a busy, busy day today. First, I'm having a meeting with family members to make some important (but fun!) plans, and then after a couple of hours of downtime (I hope), I'll be out celebrating one of my city's annual events.

You, too, might have a busy Saturday planned. However, that's no reason to skip out on this week's Psychology Around the Net! Bookmark it if you have to, because this week we have information about why people in supportive relationships are more likely to accept challenges and experience personal growth, why some of us are so dissatisfied (apparently it boils down to biology?!), how a board-certified psychiatrist is part of the world of exorcisms, and more.

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