Need treatment? Find help or get online counseling right now!

Disorders

5 Fresh Ideas for Keeping Narcissists Out of Your Life


"Never again." That's what you said when you left your last narcissist.

After swearing you'd never fall in love with another narcissist, you've fallen head-over-heels in love with one... again. The pattern has repeated itself. Your new guy isn't different. Not really. He's just another charming, charismatic, abusive, control-freak narcissist.

Many psychologists say that codependents like us can walk into a room and instantly have amazing chemistry with the most wounded, most screwed up, most abusive guy in the room. No one seems to know why or how it happens. But it does! You know it does. You've experienced it and so have I.

Continue Reading

Anger

How to Survive in an Unhappy Marriage and Thrive

You’re unhappy in your marriage, but you’ve decided to stay. It’s been a gut-wrenching decision, and you’re beginning to wonder how you can stay and keep your sanity. You alternate between wanting to leave and praying that it will get easier.

This article shows how to make the best of an unhappy marriage. It takes a lot of soul-searching to make this decision. When you’ve been together for several years (or longer) and there are kids, making this choice can weigh heavily on your heart.

Despite being in an unhappy marriage, there are reasons you are willing to stay.
Continue Reading

Anxiety and Panic

Bad Bosses: 3 Ways to Spot the Codependent

Your mental health and your physical health are at risk, if you work for a codependent boss. How do you spot one?

After all, you know how to spy a narcissistic boss. They’re divas enthralled by their own voices, clamoring for the adoration of crowds, and surrounded by folks they regard as their minions who must avoid their spotlight or get the chop. As the movie Dirty Dancing almost said, “Nobody puts the narcissist in the corner.” Other ways to spot a narcissistic boss include: they hate being interrupted; detest being disagreed with; and when they joke, you’d better laugh. Narcissists can be charming at first. But similar to leaving cheese languishing in the sun -- after a while, they can get up your nose. Narcissistic bosses and codependent bosses are quite different.
Continue Reading

Creativity

How to Become a More Interesting Person

Many people see themselves as boring or not very interesting. As a result, they minimize social contact, or feel self-conscious and awkward when interacting.

Having a self-image of being uninteresting can lead to isolation and loneliness, while eroding self-worth.

A fascinating inquiry is to explore what makes us interesting. Is it our net worth, our accomplishments, or knowing people who are popular? Maybe these factors create a curious image that some people find appealing. But do we want people to find our image interesting or find us interesting?

Continue Reading

Addiction

Codependency Is About Your Relationship with Yourself


To be acceptable to yourself and others, you hide who you are and become who you aren’t.

Most people think of codependency as being in a relationship with a addicted partner. And though that was true in my own years of active drinking, when I got sober, I discovered that codependency is much more. Codependency is about the relationship you have with yourself. It’s a set of characteristics and patterns of behavior we develop to help us cope, typically from a childhood that revolved around (but not limited to) addiction, emotional instability and trauma, and physical or mental illness.

Continue Reading

General

A Powerful Exercise for Moving Past Regret

You stayed in many toxic relationships. Many years too long. You never finished college. You left a really good job for a job you now can’t stand. You had countless embarrassing, neglectful drunken moments, which ultimately led to your divorce. You filed for bankruptcy. You racked up thousands upon thousands of dollars in student loans. You threw yourself into work while a loved one was dying. You pursued the profession your parents demanded. You didn’t say what you wanted to say. You didn’t trust yourself.

And you regret it. And you keep thinking about these regrets—these bad moments, these bad decisions—over and over and over. You play out various scenarios. You play out different decisions you could’ve made.
Continue Reading

Marriage and Divorce

Are You Making These Huge Divorce Mistakes?

Although feeling overwhelmed and confused during divorce is normal, remember to avoid the egregious divorce mistakes. It will save you time, money, and your sanity so that you can move on to the next chapter of your life better, not broken or bitter.

1. Not looking at the big picture.

One of the reasons why divorce feels horrible is because you probably weren’t taught how to plan ahead in divorce. It’s funny, isn’t it? Guidance counselors and academic...
Continue Reading

General

How to Start Loving Yourself

There’s a great quote attributed to Lucille Ball: “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” And you really have to love yourself to love others, and to create a fulfilling life.

However, many of us aren’t sure what self-love even looks like. Once something becomes a buzzword, it tends to lose its meaning and significance. It becomes relegated to a trend. It gets dismissed.

So what does it mean to love ourselves?
Continue Reading

College

Feeling Lonely at College

There's nothing so bad as feeling alone in a crowd. When you first get to college, it can feel like a pretty overwhelming event. Sure, you get to meet a lot of new people, some of who may even become your friends.

But when you're alone at night in your room, the feeling of deep loneliness can creep in as you realize there's no one here that really knows you. And being that lonely while at university can really mess with your head.

Continue Reading