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3 Ways Emotional Vampires Create Work Stress

Do you know someone who, after spending even a little time with them, you feel completely and utterly drained but don't know why?

I bet you do -- ESPECIALLY if you work in a hostile workplace! That’s the definition of an emotional vampire and probably the primary cause of your work stress.

Here are three common tactics emotional vampires use to suck your energy and also some tips on how to stay safe:
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Children and Teens

Doctor Explains Symptoms of Empathic Children

How to determine if your child is an empath.

Empathic children have nervous systems which react more quickly and strongly to external stimuli including stress.

In The Empath’s Survival Guide, I emphasize that empath children feel too much but don’t know how to manage the sensory overload. They see more, hear more, smell more, intuit more, and experience emotions more.

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Best of Our Blogs

How to Stop Taking Yourself So Seriously

“The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.” – Samuel Butler
Do you think of yourself as a serious person? Do you find little to laugh about or is it difficult to let yourself go and enjoy what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you must look forward to tomorrow? There’s a difference between being thoughtful and earnest and being serious. I like to think that seriousness must involve an important situation or problem, not a demeanor I want to portray on an everyday basis. Some might say that I’m too easygoing, but that’s not it, either. I simply want to take life as it comes, do the best I can, and be hopeful and positive in the process.
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Introspection for Blamers and Shamers

Some people in this world are expert blamers and shamers. Perhaps you know one. It begins with the need to blame: You did something bad. How could you have done this? Then it easily slides into the need to shame: You are something bad. What is the matter with you?

When something goes wrong, it can never be an accident, a random act of nature, a simple mistake, a lack of judgment, or a moment of inattentiveness. It cannot even be a misdemeanor. No, no, no, no, no! It’s got to be a felony.

Accidents are not allowed to happen. You heard me. No accidents. Somebody has to be blamed. And, amazingly enough, the finger is always pointed outwards.
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Taming the Modern Shrew

You know the shrew type person. She (or he -- yes men can be shrew-ish too) is always criticizing something. No matter what you do, it isn’t enough or you aren’t enough to please them. Even when you think you are doing exactly what they want or exactly what they said they want, all that comes your way is either a begrudging acknowledgement or new demands that you do it differently. It’s frustrating. It’s angry-making. It’s painful.

With all due respect to Shakespeare, shrew-ness isn’t easily tamed. But when the shrew (the person who is constantly harping on you) is someone who is significant in your own life or in the life of someone you love, then it becomes really, really important to try. To completely break away from a relationship with an important shrew you would rather love often leaves a raw place that never quite heals.
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Psychology Around the Net: June 24, 2017

I conquered a fear last weekend, y'all. I went whitewater rafting for the first time. It wasn't a phobia, but the days -- and especially hours -- leading up to it...well, I was terrified. What if I fall out of the raft? Crack my skull? Get sucked into one of those underwater cave things under some rocks?

Fortunately, none of those things happened, and I'm chalking it up to two factors: One, I gave in and trusted my friends (and especially our guide), and two, I gave in and trusted myself. We couldn't control the whitewater, but we could control ourselves, and we did.

Fear and trust make for interesting bedfellows, don't they?

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The Art of Persuasion

“You can’t think about it. You just have to do it. You said you were gonna do it. Like I don’t get why you aren’t.” Michelle Carter, found guilty of manslaughter, encouraged her boyfriend over text messages to commit suicide.  

She texted him dozens of times saying things like: “You can’t keep living this way.” And, “Just do it, babe.” The messages continued for days until finally her boyfriend, Conrad Roy, died of carbon monoxide poisoning in his truck.

One of the reasons this case is controversial is because Michelle Carter was not at the scene of the crime. She was put on trial for the power of her own persuasion.
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Possible Cures for Narcissistic Personalities and Behaviors

Recently there was a rare request from an honest reader who felt they have narcissistic tendencies but couldn’t find any guidelines on how to reduce these habits. I commend this reader for being aware enough to realize this and also for taking steps to ask for help!

There isn’t any behavioral malady that can’t be corrected, especially if you are aware of it. One can usually integrate opposite behaviors to remedy the imbalance.
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The Ethics of Armchair Diagnosis

When you resort to name calling, you’ve lost the argument. When you resort to diagnosing, they’ve lost credibility. Is it any wonder why non-mental health professionals are diagnosing people out of anger?  

Some people diagnose because of a disagreement. How many times have we heard a friend relay stories about his "bipolar" girlfriend after they have ended the relationship? Or what about a frustrated mother who is fed up with her son’s “ADD” when he refuses to do homework?

When someone does the opposite of what we want them to, it is tempting to label the behavior as a scientific defect. When the problem person has been labeled with a disorder, the blame is completely within their body. We, are off the hook.
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The Complex Relationship Between Personality and Happiness

Extraverts are happier, and so are the emotionally stable, personality researchers tell us. It also pays to be more open to new experiences, more agreeable, and more conscientious. What does that mean for the rest of us—the introverts, the neurotics, the disorganized?

You may recognize these personality dimensions as part of the Big Five, the traits that researchers are often referring to when they talk about personality. According to a 2008 review, the Big Five explain anywhere from 39 to 63 percent of the variation in well-being between people.

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