Anxiety and Panic

Will Work for Food and Health Care

Health insurance: only when you don’t need it.

Confused? Let me explain.

In our illogical model, our society provides health insurance to the gainfully employed. But, ironically, it is the gainfully unemployed who most need mental health coverage.

In the United States, our employer-based health care model is predicated on -- surprise surprise -- employment. For the standard nine to five set, employer-based health insurance is a satisfactory option. Generally, employers subsidize out-of-pocket health care costs -- including mental health coverage--for their employees.
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Marriage and Divorce

Which Hot Button Words Are Dealbreakers in Relationships?


I was reading about certain words that should never be used in advertising because they yield poor results. The article pointed out that people are far less likely to click on the word “submit” on a web site because it is too committal. As an alternative, “click here” is better, and “click here to receive whatever is being offered” is better yet. The article went on to point out how language can be a turn on or a turn off when making decisions.
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Anxiety and Panic

The New Perfection: Pretty Good

Welcome to the University of North Carolina or, more apropos, the University of No Chance. At least regarding my likelihood of graduation.

A self-conscious freshman, I remember the red ink coating my first Chapel Hill exam. As I replayed the exam, those latent doubts about my academic ability crescendoed into full-throated roars. What am I doing here? I wondered. I don’t belong at such a prestigious university. Will I even make it to graduation?
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Happiness

Will Marriage Make Me Lose My Identity?

"No man is an island” said 17th-century author John Donne.

This is true in marriage. Yet we can and should keep our separate identities after tying the knot.

We should also accept that none of us is totally self-sufficient. We depend on car mechanics, airplane pilots, farmers, friends, accountants, therapists, and others. Certainly, in a good marriage we rely on our marriage partner. We respect each other’s individuality and also connect as romantic partners and as lifetime teammates.   
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Creativity

The Importance of Finding Your Happy Place

We all need a place we can go to in our minds for comfort and to feel calm.  My relaxation theory is that if we visit that place in our heads, we’ll feel better.  Some people imagine an ocean beach, with calm waves returning to the shore and warm breezes blowing in their hair and the smell of salt in the air.  Some people contemplate their family home where they grew up, maybe their childhood bedroom.  For some, that is their happy place.  I’ve always had luck with imagining myself out in the woods in a rustic environment with no one around for many miles surrounded by trees of all kinds their leaves dripping in cool water.
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Family

On Grieving and Celebrating the Deceased

Aunt Jane died.  She was 95.  Aunt Jane was the lady who taught me how to play jacks and cats’ cradle in 1969 when I was six-years-old.  She fed me salmon patties, which I grew to like.  She took me on daily walks by the duck pond.

When we all got older, it was my brothers and I who entertained Aunt Jane.  We took her to lunch at the steak house or stopped at a burger joint and picked up food and took it to her apartment, where we laughed and joked and marveled at our aunt, born in 1921.  Jane still called the refrigerator the “ice box.”
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Happiness

The Fun Police

“He took a vacation,” they whispered in hushed tones. “What will his colleagues and supervisors think?”

I smiled. Actually -- correction -- I smirked.

In an era of unlimited vacation time (but not actual vacation), too many of us are shackled to our office chair. We dream of that European sojourn.
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ADHD and ADD

The Cost of Not Paying Attention, and How to Come Back into Balance

Sometimes, when we are not paying attention or attending to what is in front of us in our lives, we throw ourselves out of balance. I was reminded of this last summer when I realized in a moment of panic that I had forgotten to turn the water off from the hose outside that I was using to add some water to our pool. Instead of letting the water run for a half hour or so, I had accidentally let it run for about 24 hours! This was a big mistake on many accounts, with consequences such as overflowing the pool, wasting precious water, potentially draining our well, during a drought no less, not to mention throwing the perfectly balanced water out of balance, as evidenced by the cloudy, murky color that it began to turn!
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Family

New Experiences Can Enrich Your Life

Every once in a while, for your mental health, you should try something new, something completely different from your day-to-day life activities.

I did that this weekend when my husband, son and I drove down to southern Ohio and stayed in an authentic log cabin complete with a wood-burning stove, gingham curtains and an embroidered picture that said “cabin sweet cabin.”

But this wasn’t the main attraction; the most exciting new and different activity I engaged in was horseback riding.
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Marriage and Divorce

Marriage: Ball and Chain or Free to Be You?

If you’ve been doing fine on your own for some time, you may fear that marriage will cost you your freedom. Actually, a good marriage supports you to be free to be who you are, because partners consider each other’s needs, as well as their own.

It takes some maturity to do this. Happy couples balance spending time together and apart in ways that suit both partners. They collaborate to make big decisions, like about very large expenses, parenting, leisure time activities, and so on.
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