How to Be Honest with Yourself

“When compassion awakens in your heart, you’re able to be more honest with yourself.” – Mingyur Rinpoche
Do you lie to yourself? Maybe just a little? Maybe a lot? Whatever the answer, you’re not alone. Most people tell lies, rationalize at times, trying to reassure themselves with a self-talk that’s more wishful thinking or revisionist in nature than actual truth.

Sometimes, that’s not all bad. If you need to embroider what happened with a brighter colored thread to get past it, maybe that’s healthy.
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Feeling Scattered

When I sat down to write this article, I was completely focused on what I wanted to accomplish. Now, here it is, just 20 minutes later, and I’m feeling scattered and unfocused.

What happened?

An “urgent” text pinged, saddling me with another task I must accomplish by the end of the day.
My cleaning crew arrived, late again, and the noise from the vacuum cleaner is making it impossible for me to concentrate.
Then, my next client called. She was close by; could we possibly start the session earlier?

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The #1 Skill During Uncertainty: Psychological Flexibility

Life is rarely a smooth ride where everything goes to plan.

There are many uncertainties, unpredictabilities and hiccups along the way. But the more you are able to adapt to new conditions, the less painful the process becomes.

Psychological flexibility includes lateral thinking, the ability - or at least willingness - to adapt to changed conditions, and the resolve to tolerate discomfort. It is the opposite to being mentally rigid, with fixed ideas, set expectations and unbending attitudes. Here are the characteristics to develop or strengthen if you want to enhance your ability to navigate unpredictable events and challenges.
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Navigating the Biggest Energy Sappers for HSPs

When Rachelle Mee-Chapman’s daughter was just 5 years old, she’d walk into a restaurant and say “Mommy, that couple is fighting.” The people weren’t visibly arguing. But by the end of their meal, they were. Whether she was picking up on non-verbal cues or some energetic exchange, Mee-Chapman’s daughter was internalizing more information than the average person. Which is precisely what highly sensitive people (HSPs) do. We notice details the rest of the population doesn’t.

We experience the emotional nuances of others, and we are more aware of our own emotional states, said Mee-Chapman, also an HSP and an author and educator who helps people create right-fit spiritual practices for themselves and their families.
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The Mirror: A Place to Be Compassionate

I know many compassionate people. They are kind. They are forgiving. They are charitable towards others. And yet, they are mean, vindictive and show no mercy when they assess themselves in the mirror.

I doubt that it will come as a surprise to you that most (but not all) of these people are women. Oops, I should say girls and women. For the syndrome begins with pre-teens and travels the length of time to great-grandmas.  
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How to Become a More Mindful Person

We all have heard of the concept of becoming more mindful. But what does that actually mean in our everyday lives? Is it strictly tied to various forms of meditation or breathing exercises? It can be, according to the experts, but in actuality it is more practical and something you can even do on a daily basis.

Utilize the ideas below to become a more mindful person, and your body and mind will thank you.
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Psychology Around the Net: August 12, 2017

Happy Saturday, sweet readers!

I have a busy, busy day today. First, I'm having a meeting with family members to make some important (but fun!) plans, and then after a couple of hours of downtime (I hope), I'll be out celebrating one of my city's annual events.

You, too, might have a busy Saturday planned. However, that's no reason to skip out on this week's Psychology Around the Net! Bookmark it if you have to, because this week we have information about why people in supportive relationships are more likely to accept challenges and experience personal growth, why some of us are so dissatisfied (apparently it boils down to biology?!), how a board-certified psychiatrist is part of the world of exorcisms, and more.

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Dealing with Distraction?

“If you have a hundred thoughts, you will have a hundred helpers in your meditation.” -- Mingyur Rinpoche
Today is Monday (or any day) and you find that you are hit with seemingly endless distractions. No sooner do you start one task than you are interrupted and must jump into something else. Before long, this nonstop pattern of incompletion starts to weigh on you. All the while, however, your mind is racing with a hundred thoughts.

No wonder you feel like you’re sliding down a slippery hill.
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Free Live Webinar: Sustaining Positive Brain Change

Most of the moments of life our brain is making decisions for us based on implicit monitoring of internal and external cues. In this talk you’ll learn some of the science about how our environments we live in play a crucial role in healthy brain development, supporting positive behavioral change, and the opportunity for enduring well-being. Please join us for Sustaining Positive Brain Change Live Webinar on Tuesday, August 22nd at 8 p.m. Eastern.

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Relaxation Techniques You Probably Haven’t Tried (Yet)

Relaxation techniques are powerful for all sorts of conditions and concerns. Mind/body focused psychotherapist Alena Gerst, LCSW, RYT, uses them to treat symptoms caused by chronic illness, pain, anxiety and depression.

Dezryelle Arcieri, LMFT, a psychotherapist and yoga instructor, uses these techniques to help her clients gain acceptance and create space for their experience. (She prefers not to use the term “relaxation techniques,” because she believes it creates pressure and expectation.) “Our focus is on ‘being,’ rather than ‘doing,’” she said.
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Finding the Gems Among the Clutter

I am a professional de-clutterer, one who strives to give my clients the ability to find space in their minds, bringing them the peace we all seek and need to be our most productive selves.

Amongst everyone’s clutter are gems. Gems that my clients have been looking for, ones they have great stories about. In my work I've experienced both the crazy cluster of collected crap and that of treasured keepsakes, a brilliant trail of their history. I've learned more about people in my work with them than I would have through conventional, social means.
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Increase Your Body Confidence: 3 Steps that You Can Practice Today

Americans spend billions of dollars on weight-loss and workout programs in order to try to achieve the “perfect body.” Advertisements promise confidence, improved self-esteem, impeccable health, and romance once the perfect body is achieved.

The myth that we are presented with is that we are just not trying hard enough if we aren't thin.  

The ads, and even our healthcare system, do not acknowledge the scientific evidence that body size and shape are under significant genetic control. Body composition is a lot more complex than simply calories-in and calories-out.   
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