Family

What to Do When Your Friends Divorce

You have been best buddies for years. As couples you were at each other’s weddings, baby showers, and housewarmings.

You spend more weekends together than not. And, almost as much as growing old with your spouse, you picture growing old with them. Until -- divorce.

When the couples you are closest to start to fall apart it can hurt almost as much as if your own marriage were ending. Family trips and weekend barbecues will never be the same. Friends becoming the family you chose is true for many, and when a family splits up everyone suffers. So, what do you do when your best friends decide to call it quits?
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General

5 Tips for a Meaningful Relationship


A meaningful relationship is built on respect, trust and equality, according to Jennine Estes, a marriage and family therapist. Partners are able to share how they feel and what they need, she said. They provide each other with a deep level of security and protection. They have each other’s backs. During the worst of moments—feeling sick, grieving a terrible loss—they are by each other’s sides.

According to Brooke Schmidt, a marriage and family therapist, “A meaningful relationship is one where you can feel free to be your authentic self.” You feel “connected, accepted, wanted and cherished,” she said. And you help your partner feel the same way.
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Marriage and Divorce

The Differences in Divorce for Men and Women

The divorce rate for a first marriage in America is between 40-50%. After a first divorce, the common assumption is that a second marriage will fare better from previous learned experience. The divorce rate for a second marriage is between 60-67%. Although many people who have divorced twice continue to marry again, the success rates are not in their favor. The divorce rate for a third marriage increases to roughly 70%.

Couples with children have a slightly lower rate of breaking up, but divorce impacts more than just the children. Both wife and husband are greatly impacted by divorce. They suffer in both similar and different ways depending on their gender.
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Family

8 Early Warning Signs a Relationship Will Fail

You are in a new relationship. You think you may be falling in love. But there is a little niggling sense in the back of your mind that just maybe this isn’t the relationship for you.

It may be that your instincts are right.

If you see any of these “early warning signs” take a big step back. They need to be fixed, not ignored, if you are to be in a healthy, positive relationship that will last.
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Happiness

What True Love Looks Like


Every society in the world praises the value of love. Love takes us beyond self-centeredness and motivates us to connect meaningfully with another. Yet, too often, the secular ideal of love emphasizes being loved, or at least on receiving love in reciprocation for the love one gives.

In Hebrew, “the word for love -- ahavah -- includes the Aramaic word hav, which means ‘Give!’ (And the initial letter alef makes it mean, ‘I will give.’) Loving…is not so much receiving, as giving of oneself, and making sacrifices for others.
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Happiness

How Lists Can Help You Choose a Mate Wisely


Many singles hope to marry yet lack clarity about what traits to look for in a spouse. Consequently, they may get involved in relationships that disappoint them.

Some people settle for less than they deserve because they don’t recognize their own fine qualities. Another obstacle to marrying occurs when they find an imperfection in a good person which becomes their reason to reject him or her.

I ask women in my Marry with Confidence workshops to make three lists. You can make the same ones. By carefully creating each list below, you’re likely to:
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Family

Avoiding Projections Through Appreciation

A common way we get into trouble in intimate relationships is through projection.

We project onto our partner how we think they should be or act, usually through the lens of how we learned to be and act from our parents. We may have a fantasy of the ideal partner, or ideal behaviors we want from our partner, and we hold them to these unattainable projections.

The result is disappointment for both parties. Your partner only knows how to be themselves and will resent you if they are seen in and treated through idealized expectations. Thus, there needs to be space to allow your partner to be who they are. You can’t force them to be different, but you can appreciate them for who they are.

This is the foundation of relationship health.
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Anger

Is Your Partner Jealous of Your Child?

When you met your partner and fell in love you probably dreamed and eventually planned out a life together. For many this plan included the possibility of children. Fast-forward to having one or more children and all is perfect, right? Maybe not.

Life has a way of taking you through unexpected twists and turns and rarely, if ever, does it turn out the way you anticipated. What if one of those unexpected twists however, is your partner’s jealousy of your children?
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Family

The Art of Talking

I met my husband, Steve, in 1994.

We went out to dinner on a blind date. Strangely enough, I had the feeling when I met him that I was going to marry him. We wed three years later. This year we’re celebrating our 20-year wedding anniversary.

Back in 2003, when we were trying to adopt a baby, a social worker told us that we needed to learn how to communicate better with each other. My husband was quiet by nature, and I didn’t want to make him talk if he didn’t want to speak; consequently, a lot went unsaid.
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