Inspiration & Hope

Five Things to Do After Your Divorce to Help You Thrive

It’s completely normal to feel like your world has been turned upside down after going through a divorce. There is a plethora of emotions to work through, your living conditions are different, and even your daily routine has been completely altered. Life as you knew it will just never be the same.

Healing from a divorce and eventually moving on with your life takes time and effort. Here are five things to do to help you get back on track after your divorce.  
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Marriage and Divorce

Relationships: Can You Show Grace Under Fire?

The word, “grace” can mean charm, which is a nice quality to cultivate in ourselves. In a religious context, as in the song, “Amazing Grace,” it means unearned kindness. You may be the giver of this kind of grace or its receiver.

Being kind to people you meet and date, even if you feel that their behavior doesn’t deserve it, is good for you, for them, and via a ripple effect, for the planet. I’m not saying to be a pushover. Kindness simply means treating others with the respect they deserve as human beings. We all have virtues and flaws, and when someone’s shortcomings seem to be screaming at us, it can help to take a few quiet breaths and accept that he or she is doing the best they can at the moment.
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Friends

Should Your Husband Be Your BFF?

“Marriages are forms of super friendship” - John F. Helliwell, Senior Fellow of the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research    
Some marriages begin with love at first sight. Usually, but not always, they fail after the initial buzz wears off. Others begin with a friendship that grows into love. This kind of marriage is more likely to succeed in the long run.
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General

Couples in Conflict, Try This Now

As a therapist I have an aversion to short lists of quick tips, because individuals and their relationships are so complex and idiosyncratic. However, as a busy person, I am always appreciative when an experienced insider can simplify a domain for which I have little time or energy. Drawing on a decade of psychotherapy with couples in crisis, here are five quick - though not easy  - ways to respond when you feel stuck in a conflict with your partner.  
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Marriage and Divorce

Lower the Bar, Save Your Marriage

Many people marry and soon find that their spouse is annoying -- not constantly of course, but more than they expected. Fairy tales and romantic novels suggest that a good marriage is an effortless, happily ever after experience, with the emphasis on effortless.

Rabbi Yosef Richards offers this tongue-in-cheek, but really truer to life view of marriage: “People are annoying. So find the person who annoys you the least and marry that one.”
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Children and Teens

6 Ways to Bond with Your Stepchildren

Step-parents have a tough job. Getting on with your new spouse’s children is absolutely essential for a harmonious life together -- but where to start?

Entering into a blended family situation is challenging for everyone, but it can be especially confusing for children. Their idea of “home” has been turned upside down. They may feel lost, angry or abandoned. There’s no question that step-parents have a delicate and difficult role to play.
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Marriage and Divorce

Stop Comparing, Start Enriching Your Relationship

Once the winter holidays are over, the stores can’t seem to help themselves. Valentine’s Day red and decorations hit the stores right after New Year’s and the spotlight gets turned on to our relationship. With the big day looming, many people start to think: “Is our relationship wonderful enough? Romantic enough? Supportive enough?” “Am I glad I’m in the relationship I’m in?” We may find ourselves trying to keep up with the metaphorical “Joneses” who seem to be more affectionate, more mutually helpful, and better at managing conflict than we are.
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