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Ethics & Morality

Behave Yourself Before I Tell Your Mother: Sexual Harassment Then and Now

Oh, how I wished I could have faced down the gropers when I was a kid. I wish I could have said something. Anything. But way back then, silence was the order of the day. You didn’t tell. Not your mom. Not your friends. Nobody.

But that doesn’t mean you didn’t stew about it. Or obsess about what you’d want to do. My obsession, strangely enough, was not to have the courage to tell my mom, but to tell the groper’s mother. She would then lecture him, shame him, punish him for his behavior. At least, that was my fantasy. Reflecting on it, I realize that I was looking to turn the table on my tormentor. Let him be disgraced. Dishonored. Mortified. Let him feel what that’s like. Yeah!
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Habits

Overcoming Failure Mentality: Why Small Steps Are the Key to Lifestyle Change

The desire to improve ourselves and become happier in our lives is something the majority of us experience. We’re always promising ourselves that tomorrow is the day that we’re going to start eating better, exercising more, getting organized and working harder. It’s a perpetual to-do list which states that as soon as we get our act together and transform our habits, our lives will be changed.

Unfortunately, it’s also this very attitude that ensures we never actually do it. We make New Year’s Resolutions each year, and more often than not they are the same commitments, made again and again. The mantra of “I’ve ruined this week, I’ll start again on Monday” keeps us eating badly, not exercising, retaining bad habits like smoking, and leaving our projects unfinished.
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Grief and Loss

Managing Your Grief This Holiday Season

According to our favorite holiday movies and books, we should be serene, happy and peaceful throughout the holidays. This is rarely the case, however, for those who may be grieving the loss of a loved one. Holidays are hard when you are consumed with grief, no matter how long ago you experienced your loss.

We all experience grief differently and there is no right way to do it. The same is true for coping with a loss. How one person manages may not be the same as the next.
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Creativity

20 Sweet Ways to Make Someone’s Day

Even the smallest compassionate gestures can have significant impact. A kind act can do everything from make someone smile to turn their day around to instill a sincere sense of hope—an emotion they might not have felt in a very long time.

Plus, kindness often has a domino effect: When people see you performing compassionate acts, they feel inspired to be kind, too. And in today’s fast-paced, go, go, go society, this is powerful. It is precious, and it is needed.
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Addiction

Your Diagnosis Does Not Define You

I've been diagnosed, at one point or another, with depression, anxiety, PTSD and ADHD. It’s an annoying characterization of myself because my medical 'diagnosis' does not define me. Yet it has also been incredibly helpful to me as it explains certain behaviors and reactions, and gives me the tools I need to research and manage them.

But let me be clear. What I 'have' does not equate to who I am. As despite the challenges, we can all thrive.
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Bullying

Victim Shaming and Blaming

With all the allegations coming to light about sexual abuse perpetrated by celebrities, including Harvey Weinstein (no relation to the author of this article), Roy Moore, Louie CK and Kevin Spacey, it seems timely to write an article, about supporting survivors, how to avoid victim shaming, even if it took years to speak up, ways to prevent abuse, as well as means to deal with disillusionment when our icons commit such crimes.

First and foremost is the acknowledgment that sexual assault, whether it comes in the form of words or touch, is about power and control. Sex is merely the vehicle of transmission. It dehumanizes. It steals sovereignty. It robs a person of their sense of safety in their own environment and their own skin. There is no ability to consent when someone has power over another, whether it is economic, legal or by virtue of having given birth to the victim.
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Family

Why Be a Thanksgiving “Orphan”?

“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” It’s usually an innocent question this time of year, meant to just make conversation. It is bandied about at work, among the parents picking up their kids at school or when talking to friends. “What are you doing?” For those who have places to go, it’s a simple enough question to answer. Whether or not they are looking forward to the yearly stuff-yourself-day with relatives, they know what they are doing and probably just how it’s going to be. (Yearly family events do tend to repeat themselves.)
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Depression

Looking for Hope in 195 Places


I'm not sure about you, but I've felt hopeless plenty of times in my life. Like really, really hopeless. Enough for a suicide attempt in my early 20's, and enough so that I made a firm commitment to figure out what, exactly, creates a hopeful mindset, and what I can do to foster and grow it in my life and the others around me.

It is through our deepest pain we find our brightest light.
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Caregivers

Bouncing Back: Resilient Thrivers Tell Their Stories

This is the first in a series of articles about people who have survived life challenges that they never anticipated. For each of them, the unexpected brought lessons and skills that have helped them to move from victim to survivor to thriver.

Albert Borris is a 58-year-old man who lives in the Philadelphia suburb of Moorestown, New Jersey. For three decades, he worked as a Student Assistance Counselor in a high school setting, guiding young people who were facing psychological and addiction oriented challenges. According to his colleagues and those whose lives he touched -- likely thousands over the years -- he was superb at his job. He is the father of three children; two young sons and a daughter who is following in her father’s footsteps professionally, now in graduate school earning her Masters of Social Work.
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Depression

8 Ways to Persevere When Depression Persists

Although I like to cling to the promise that my depression will get better -- since it always has in the past -- there are long, painful periods when it seems as though I'm going to have to live with these symptoms forever.

In the past, there was a time when I had been struggling with death thoughts for what seemed like forever. One afternoon, I panicked when I surmised that they might always be with me. I embraced the wisdom of Toni Bernhard, who wrote a brilliant handbook for all of us living with chronic illness, How to Be Sick. While reading her words, I mourned the life I once had and made room to live with symptoms of depression indefinitely.

The death thoughts did eventually disappear, but I'm always mindful of my depression. Every decision I make in a 24-hour period, from what I 
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General

Helping Others Can Heal the Brain

The greatest show in Las Vegas history must be the recent outpouring of the best of humanity. The courage shown by professional rescuers and regular citizens reaching out to help, and even risking their lives to do so, leaves many of us wondering what would we do and what can we do to help others.
Making a positive difference in someone’s life doesn’t take a life-threatening effort. Simple kindnesses can go a long way for someone struggling. I was lucky enough to receive such help this summer.
I blew out my ankle. Really blew it out. As I enjoyed a walk with my husband, on slightly uneven pavement my foot slid off the side of my two-inch platform sandal. Three bones broke and the ankle dislocated.
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General

Coping With What You Can’t Control

There are many things in life we can’t control—everything from tiny annoyances to tragedies. We can’t control if our grandmother gets cancer and passes away. We can’t control if we get cancer.

We can’t control what others think, say or do. We can’t control what others think of us. We can’t control who our loved ones hang out with. We can’t control who we work with or who’s in charge. We can’t control Mother Nature, or today’s traffic.

But, of course, we can control our reactions to all the things we can’t control.
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