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Grief and Loss

Four Benefits of Counterfactual Thinking

Three days ago my husband was told he didn’t get the promotion he wanted and had almost been promised by his boss. He has been angry (and sad and frustrated and going through Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ stages of grief) and he has lost sleep the last over the situation. His reaction and behavior has reminded me of friends and family members who have received potentially devastating health news. But bad business news and bad health news are both areas where counterfactual thinking can help if one does it in the mindset of brainstorming, instead of that of regret.

Counterfactual thinking is defined as "
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Family

7 Ways to Better Understand and Be Understood

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood.” – Ralph Nichols
Being human, we all have certain basic needs. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs outlines them quite well and encompasses all that we generally think about when it comes to what we need.

Yet one of our most basic needs, the need to understand and be understood, seldom gets much attention.

It should.

Without the ability to understand what others say or the meaning behind their words, we can miss important cues, lose out on opportunities, fail to see changes in time to appropriately react, and go off in a totally different direction. Worse, if we lack understanding, we’re more prone to selfish acts than helping others.
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Children and Teens

Everything I Was Too Afraid to Be: On Fatherhood and Mental Health

Recently, I had the good fortune to meet a fellow mental health advocate in person. Gabriel Nathan (Gabe – just like me) is the Editor-in-Chief of OC87 Recovery Diaries and a man who lives with depression, anxiety, and obsessive thoughts. We talked about a great many things, but the topic that fascinated me the most is that he is the father of twins.

“How on earth can you manage mental illness AND a child -- let alone two?” was my first thought.

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General

Podcast: The Challenges of Returning to Work After Mental Illness


In this episode of the Psych Central Show, hosts Gabe Howard and Vincent M. Wales discuss the challenges of returning to the workplace after being out for an extended amount of time, such as while recovering from mental illness. Gabe shares his first-hand experience of returning to work after four years, including the difficulties he faced, the resources he relied on, and what he wished he’d done differently. Also discussed are workplace discrimination, advocating for yourself, and the question of whether or not you should disclose your mental illness to your coworkers (and if so, to whom and when).
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Anxiety and Panic

Comparison: The Perfectionist’s Incessant Urge

Alice had experienced many successes in her youth. She was gifted with athletic skills, intelligence, and an outgoing personality. She qualified for a scholarship in college and graduated with honors from a prestigious program. Alice enjoyed the praise of others, and felt she should be happy but was not. She had developed the habit of comparing herself with others. When she could not keep up with what she believed were others’ expectations, she felt anxious and depressed. She would say, “If I make a mistake, others will judge me, and I will be nothing!”

Perfectionism is a topic of interest to many because of the impact it can have in individuals’ lives. There is nothing wrong with having a desire to succeed in life and doing what it takes to accomplish it. The problem is when individuals get stuck in the minutia in order to avoid fears such as self-doubt, impressing others, or failure.
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Anger

Psychology Around the Net: September 23, 2017


Don't let the picture fool you! If you're dealing with depression, you might want to cut back on counting sheep and take a look at what sleep deprivation can do to help your moods (says some research).

Also, keep going for a look at how psychology training might benefit entrepreneurs more than business training, why getting angry every now and then is a good thing, the psychology behind paying so much money for an iPhone (or any product you don't expect to cost that much), and more.

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Anxiety and Panic

Bad Bosses: 3 Ways to Spot the Codependent

Your mental health and your physical health are at risk, if you work for a codependent boss. How do you spot one?

After all, you know how to spy a narcissistic boss. They’re divas enthralled by their own voices, clamoring for the adoration of crowds, and surrounded by folks they regard as their minions who must avoid their spotlight or get the chop. As the movie Dirty Dancing almost said, “Nobody puts the narcissist in the corner.” Other ways to spot a narcissistic boss include: they hate being interrupted; detest being disagreed with; and when they joke, you’d better laugh. Narcissists can be charming at first. But similar to leaving cheese languishing in the sun -- after a while, they can get up your nose. Narcissistic bosses and codependent bosses are quite different.
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Anxiety and Panic

Should You Take that Job? 5 Signs Your Gut Says ‘No’

Most of the choices we make every day are simple and straight-forward: what to wear to work, what to eat for lunch, whether to go to sleep at a reasonable hour or stay up watching Netflix. They don’t cause much stress or inner conflict.

Career transition points, on the other hand, can leave you feeling significantly more stuck -- especially when you’re facing a big, life-changing decisions.
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General

Cultivating an Internal Locus of Control — and Why It’s Crucial

You didn’t get the job you really wanted. But you aren’t surprised. The odds were stacked against you anyway. Even if you prepared more, the result would’ve been the same: Someone else would’ve gotten the position.

Or you did get the job. But it has nothing to do with your qualifications, experience or interview skills. You were just at the right place at the right time. You got lucky.

You decide to start dating. Your first date is awful. It’s awkward, and they spend the entire time talking about themselves. Which only makes you feel more and more rejected. But you’re not surprised, because this seems to happen often.
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Creativity

5 Ways to Let It Flow

“The mind is like a river, and, as with a river, there’s no point in trying to stop its flow.” – Mingyur Rinpoche

You know when you get into a groove, you just want to keep on going. You might say you’re “in the flow,” “going with the flow,” “in your sweet spot,” or some other catchy phrase.
It feels good.
You want it to continue.
Why don’t you let it?
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