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Habits

How Core Values Help Relationships Grow

We can easily take our values for granted. So we may not be aware of core beliefs that guide our everyday lives. Happy couples typically share enough similar values for long term compatibility.  

If you value honesty, fidelity, a sense of humor, personal growth, respect, empathy, or patience, can you imagine having a life partner who doesn’t? How about ambition, lifestyle, desire for children and so on?

You don’t need to agree on everything; the idea is to agree on areas that are truly necessary for your lasting happiness. Actually, as shown in the example below, sometimes a difference in a core value may enrich a relationship.  
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Family

Managing Anxiety Around the Holidays: 6 Tips for Inner Peace

It’s that time of year! Our anxiety levels almost always rise around the holidays. You want to get everyone the perfect gifts, you want to plan the perfect holiday meals and events, you want to decorate your home, you love sending out holiday cards, you have several holiday parties to attend and prepare for and you want to see your loved ones feel the joy of the season. It is overwhelming even...
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Anger

Use This DBT Skill to Manage Your Emotions and Enhance Your Life

Our thoughts and emotions generally dictate what we do. Which makes sense since we act based on the information our brains automatically give us. So if we’re anxious about speaking in public, we probably will avoid it. After all, we interpret it as a threat, and our brains—and bodies—don’t like threats. If we’re sad, deeply sad, we might isolate ourselves, for days, because we yearn to be alone. If we’re angry with our spouse, we might yell...
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Happiness

How to Win Even When You Fail

What do the premier designer Vera Wang, the famous 1800s scientist and author of “On the Origin of Species” Charles Darwin, and NPR radio icon Terry Gross have in common? They all failed. And it wasn’t just the trial-and-error, have-to-pay-your-dues kind of failures that most anyone has to endure in order to succeed in any given field. These talented people actually failed to reach their initial dreams, aspirations that were based on entirely different professions than what they are so famously known for!
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Habits

4 Steps to Making Any Change You Desire

Lucy was drawing to a close in her counseling work with me when she said, "You know, this isn’t how I thought I would feel."

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"When I started counseling," she said, "I thought I’d have to become a completely different person in order to be happier. That I had to fix a deficiency in some way that seemed impossible and overwhelming. But it turns out that this feeling I have now -- of lightness, of possibility, of more confidence and trust in myself -- I just needed to lean into that more. Asking myself ‘in the moment’ if something is right for me is not selfish, but is actually kinder to others as well as me. I’m pleasantly surprised and so relieved that I didn’t need to transform into someone else to be more content."
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Family

Why Be a Thanksgiving “Orphan”?

“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” It’s usually an innocent question this time of year, meant to just make conversation. It is bandied about at work, among the parents picking up their kids at school or when talking to friends. “What are you doing?” For those who have places to go, it’s a simple enough question to answer. Whether or not they are looking forward to the yearly stuff-yourself-day with relatives, they know what they are doing and probably just how it’s going to be. (Yearly family events do tend to repeat themselves.)
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Creativity

7 Meaningful Ways to Start Your Morning—Especially If Mornings Aren’t Your Thing

Mornings tend to be tough for many of us.

You open your eyes to the blaring of your alarm, and think, “Ughhhh.” You think about your super-long to-do list and dread the day. You calculate the cups of coffee you’ll have to consume so your head doesn’t smack the desk. You scroll through random sites and social media. You check your email five thousand times.

After a snooze or ten, you finally stumble out of bed, and trip 18 times on various objects -- shoes, toys -- on your way to splashing water on your face.

In short, mornings aren’t exactly your thing.

But there are small ways you can turn that around. Below are seven suggestions for making your morning more meaningful, brighter, and a bit more fun.
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Depression

Avoiding the Holiday Blues

For many, the holiday season is a happy time associated with family and friends, good food and celebration. But for others, the holidays are marked with feelings of anxiety and depression, commonly referred to as the Holiday Blues.

The Holiday Blues are defined as temporary feelings of anxiety or depression during the holidays, and though they differ from clinical anxiety or depression, they should still be taken seriously as they can lead to long-term mental health conditions. 
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Happiness

Bringing Your Shadow to Light

In order to lead a rich, full life, you want to bring the fullness of all that you are into the light and out into the world. Our shadow selves are not just those traits that we define as "bad", they are also aspects of our personality that have simply receded into the darkness for a lack of awareness and understanding.

Shadows are the parts of us that we keep hidden because we had been given the message early on that they are dangerous, shameful, or unrealistic. The roots of our shadow begins early in childhood; traits and feelings such as anger, boldness, flamboyance, and sexuality were seen as "bad" or dangerous and therefore repressed.
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Anxiety and Panic

How Social Media Feeds Social Anxiety

Fingers flying, incessant texting, phones held to ear as secondary appendages gives the illusion we are well connected. We are chattering and snapping and “selfieing” (I think I just made that word up -- you can do that these days) all the live long day. Meanwhile scientists quietly dispense reports underlining an incredible finding: We are socially anxious people. Extremely socially anxious. So what gives?
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