Anger

Fatherhood: Optional

“We have a personality clash,” my father would flippantly remark before storming off. This was his throwaway line.

I stood there dumbfounded. A sensitive teenager, the words wounded. There was a cold dismissiveness in his voice.

“What have I ever done to you?” I wondered.

The answer: Nothing. But that doesn’t stop the lingering hurt. In 1997, 2007, and, yes, 2017.
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Books

Psychology Around the Net: April 8, 2017


Happy Saturday, sweet readers!

If you're wondering what's up with the "Happy Birthday" sign, well, yesterday the World Health Organization (WHO) celebrated the anniversary of its launch in 1948 -- as well as the annual World Health Day event.

Other topics in this week's Psychology Around the Net include how climate change affects our mental health, why some people are genetically programmed to be night owls, the tragic loss of Amy Bleuel, and more.

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Addiction

Repaving the Road

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” - Lewis Carroll
Yesterday, I spent 12 hours sitting in my therapy office as I worked with clients who brought with them, a collective steamer trunk of challenges, trauma history, pain, triumphs to celebrate, healing stories, insights, and wisdom. Thank goodness for those last few items, since if all I saw were the first, I’m not sure how I could have continued my career for the 38 years I have logged. If calculated in dog years, that would equal 342 turns of the calendar pages.
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Grief and Loss

Why We Grieve So Intensely for Our Pets


Your own pet is never "just a dog."

My wife and I recently went through one of the more excruciatingly sorrowful experiences of our long married life: the death of a pet -- the euthanasia of our beloved dog, Murphy.

Losing a dog is hard enough; setting the time and date in advance and then counting down the hours that we had left with her was almost more than we could bear.

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Anger

3 Ways to Work Through the Anger Stage of Grief


(And how to get over it.)

Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I ever tried to do. I couldn't do it.

People told me to reach out to God but I was too angry. People told me to call them but what did they know? I was too resentful. I’d see old men and wonder why did they get to live and he had to die? I was too pissed.

When Kubler-Ross did her seminal work on grief, she was sure to include a stage on anger.

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Children and Teens

6 Ways to Bond with Your Stepchildren

Step-parents have a tough job. Getting on with your new spouse’s children is absolutely essential for a harmonious life together -- but where to start?

Entering into a blended family situation is challenging for everyone, but it can be especially confusing for children. Their idea of “home” has been turned upside down. They may feel lost, angry or abandoned. There’s no question that step-parents have a delicate and difficult role to play.
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Aging

One Year Later. Mom’s Still Dead.

Grief. It's a funny thing. I don't understand it and I don't want to, I just wish it would go away. One year and a half later and I still find myself crying mid-day because I can't call my Mom to remind me that everything is going to be okay. Sure, the impact of losing her has changed -- the first year I spent many nights dreaming about her, re-living the events leading up to her death, and wishing that I would awaken and somehow she would be there, here, with me. I cried and prayed that I would awaken and find out that this was all unreal, that she somehow miraculously came back to life! That she is still here, still alive, and still with me. Day after day, I waited, hoped, listened, for her return. Wishful thinking...and emotional exhaustion is all that I have been left with.
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Friends

Surviving Infidelity: Why It’s Necessary to Prove That the Affair Has Ended

Recovering from the painful damage caused by infidelity is never easy. In the aftermath of infidelity, marriages and committed relationships that have been built and nurtured over years, even decades, can quickly crumble, leaving one or both partners devastated.

But there is hope and a way forward for those couples who are willing to make the commitment and do the hard work. The trauma of infidelity needn’t last a lifetime.
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