Anger

Getting Over the Hurt of an Affair

Your partner was unfaithful and now you are trying to get past all the hurt it’s causing you. You may be experiencing a number of different emotions including embarrassment, shame, guilt, anger, and sadness. You are probably going through a rollercoaster of feelings; loving and hating your spouse, all at the same time. Maybe you are wondering if this incredible pain will ever go away and end.
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Aging

Living with an Aging Parent

My mother is 85, and she still drives and lives alone.

When people see her they say “she never changes.” She took care of me when I went through two bouts of cancer, one in 2012 and the other in 2016. In short, Mom is in excellent shape for her age.

But lately, she’s been moving a bit slower and seeming more like the octogenarian that she is.
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Depression

5 Common Misconceptions About Grief

Like many painful emotions, we don’t talk much about grief.
Grief is the emotional experience that results from any type of loss. Being the experience-that-must-not-be-named (yes, I just made a Harry Potter reference) gives rise to lot of confusion and misconceptions about what grief actually is, so I’d like to take the chance to debunk some of these erroneous ideas.
1. “It’s the same as depression.”
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Grief and Loss

What to Do When You Feel Lost After Divorce

Divorce is tough for many reasons. Not only are we dealing with the emotions and logistics and finances, but after the dust has settled, we may feel like our life's plans have changed direction. The life you planned and your vision of the future may disappear, leaving you with a feeling of not knowing what to do or where to go from here.

But when you feel like this, don’t panic! There is merely one thing you must remember:
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Grief and Loss

To Succeed in Marriage, Clear the Decks

Do you have unfinished business? Most of us do. It’s important to gain a sense of closure about a past relationship in order to succeed in a new one.    

Closure, in the psychological sense, means “the state of experiencing an emotional conclusion to a difficult life event.” 1 Typical situations that call for closure are the loss of a romantic partner, spouse, or parent. Another can involve grieving the absence of a healthier home environment in which one was raised.  
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Depression

How to Be with Sadness

The thought of going to a funeral used to be a terrifying prospect for me. Walking into a room filled with sadness and grief evoked -- well -- an intense desire not to go. Anxiety was all I could feel. It obscured the feelings I wanted to have like sadness and compassion. And, I secretly felt ashamed that I didn’t have “the right” feelings.

Core emotions, like sadness, are evolutionarily designed survival programs that all of us have. They are hard-wired deep in the middle part of the brain and arise involuntarily depending on what is going on in our immediate environment. 
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Children and Teens

Pain, Creativity, and Secret Notebook Excerpts

If you own (or used to own) a diary, have you ever looked through your past entries in an unsuspectingly good mood and found yourself offended by your own depressive writings? Don’t worry, you may not quite be the Negative Nancy that your diary paints you out to be, or a person who is perpetually bummed out. You don’t necessarily have to look back upon the works of your 15-year old self and cringe at your 67th “I’m am so alone” entry; as silly as you think they may sound now, these feelings were real at the point of time they were written, and every bit valid considering how circumstances were back then.
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Grief and Loss

A Practical Tip for Developing a Stress-Resilient Life

“Your dad’s had a heart attack.”  

My own heart shot into my throat, hearing my mother’s garbled words a thousand miles away.

“He’s going to be okay, but maybe you could fly out?”

It’s been almost two years since my father’s heart attack and he’s made important changes that have improved his life quality considerably. Both my grandfather and grandmother died of heart disease. They experienced immense socio-economic challenges and faced more stressful life situations than I could possibly imagine.

However, this part of my own family history has inspired me to explore ways to reduce stress in my own life and the lives of my clients. Today, I would like to share with you one idea I find incredibly useful in building a stress-resilient life.   
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Depression

Overcoming Sorrow

“Sorrow comes to all… Perfect reality is not possible, except with time. You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better and yet you are sure to be happy again.” – Abraham Lincoln
Sorrow is the opposite of happiness, yet both are part of human existence.

Like life and death and the changing of seasons, it should be familiar enough to recognize that things have a sequence. Sometimes that sequence is a time of birth or rebirth, a creative force that erases failure and negativity. Other times, however, there’s a clearly defined sense of decay, lack of progress, mistakes and endings.

The key to overcoming sorrow and
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Children and Teens

Mother’s Day for Those Without Mothers

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child” - traditional 19th century American spiritual
Not everyone gets the mother every child by birthright deserves. Sometimes a child doesn’t have a mother due to death or abandonment. Sometimes mothers who were not mothered themselves haven’t a clue how to do it. Sometimes a mother is addicted, abused, or mentally or physically ill and has all she can do to survive herself. And sometimes a mother’s idea of mothering is to be selfish or harsh. Whatever the reason, a child who lacks a mother or who lacks a mother who is mothering knows instinctively that something is missing.
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