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3 Distorted Beliefs About Friendships That Can Destroy Them

Our beliefs about relationships naturally affect how we behave in those relationships. And when our beliefs are distorted, it can lead us to actions that sabotage our friendships—and leave us neglecting ourselves.

Which is why it's important to take the time to explore our beliefs and contemplate their accuracy. Below, Alyssa Mairanz, a psychotherapist in New York City who specializes in relationships, shares three distorted beliefs.
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Are You Living in Your Own Bubble?

It’s so easy to live in your own bubble. To ridicule ideas that aren’t in your echo chamber. To give zero latitude to concepts that are foreign to you.

Too bad.

For to live a full life, a rich life, you need to remind yourself of the lessons you learned in kindergarten. First lesson: play well with others.

Why do we have to do that? Why can’t they just conform to our ways or go elsewhere? There should be different schools for them or maybe they shouldn’t even be here.
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How to Say No When Someone Asks to “Pick Your Brain”

When you’re an expert in any field, people may regularly ask to “pick your brain,” buy you lunch or some other form of asking for advice. For free, of course.

If you feel conflicted at time like these, it makes perfect sense. Your schedule is packed, yet your instinct might still be to jump in and help. In fact, your generosity and desire to make a difference likely played a huge part in you going into business to begin with.
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Anxiety and Panic

Freedom from Fear: Freedom to Live the Life You Want

My last blog on The New ABC of Managing Difficult Emotions outlines a simple process that many of you have told me is really helpful.

Many of you emailed me asking for the downloadable graphic. Many of you shared how you were going to use this process: with your children, to manage your own emotions and to help your clients. I am so glad.

There is one story I want to share with you, because it is so clear and inspiring -- and so helpful for others to consider as well.
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How to Manage Your Friends (Without Making It Awkward)

When you’re a fast-rising millennial stepping into a managerial role for the first time, there’s certainly a lot to think about. You’ve probably wondered if your older colleagues will consider you experienced enough.
Or maybe you’ve thought about how the shift in responsibility will affect your work-life balance.
But many new managers have a worry that’s seldom addressed, even though it’s widespread: how to navigate managing peers and friends.
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These 5 ‘Powers’ Can Boost Your Golden Years

After a lifetime of hard work, millions of baby boomers are retiring in record numbers across the globe. Like any life transition, embarking on the transition from working life to retirement can be wrought with challenges and stressors, especially for those forced into retirement. Yet, it also opens a window of opportunity to take a few simple steps to secure a healthy and happy retirement.

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Brain and Behavior

Stop Refusing to Apologize & Embrace Being Sorry

One of the hardest lessons to be learned in life is how to be truly, genuinely sorry for our behavior or words that cause another person pain, upset, or harm. Some companies -- as we saw this past week with United Airlines' difficulty in apologizing to their customers -- have an even more difficult time with this than most people.

You may think, "Well, what do I have to apologize for? They were clearly in the wrong." Such stubbornness and a refusal to apologize will get you into far more trouble than it could possibly be worth. It's a lesson worth learning sooner rather than later -- that is, if you want to be happier and more successful in your life.

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Bullying, Incognito: Deliberate Social Exclusion

When we think of bullying, a picture of aggression is typically conjured -- the taunting, name-calling, and physical abuse. Beyond the playground in the adult world, however, bullying often takes place masked in more insidious forms. Deliberate social exclusion can manifest in many ways across situations, occurring in the context of university, work, or within a group if people not connected by their field of study or job.
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We Are All Coaches

A great number of people work as coaches, with specialties ranging from health and weight loss to life transitions and general goal setting. But even if you aren’t a professional coach, you still -- whether you’re aware of it or not -- use coaching methods to help encourage, understand, and motivate others.

Whether it’s urging your teenage daughter to clean her room, helping a friend with her next career move, or prompting a co-worker to pull his or her own weight, coaching helps both ourselves and others lead more productive, positive lives.
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Children and Teens

PODCAST: Teen Creates Peer Support Network for Teens, Run by Teens

In this episode of the Psych Central Show, hosts Gabe and Vincent conclude a 3-part series about the Palo Alto suicides and some of the things that came about after and, at least partially, as a result of them. Returning this episode is Sammy Kotmel, joined by Nadia Ghaffari, founder of TeenzTalk a teen-run peer support website with users all over the world. Listen as she shares how and why this site was created and hear about its success stories.

Hands artwork by Kaan Tarhan.

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