Friends

Surviving Infidelity: Why It’s Necessary to Prove That the Affair Has Ended

Recovering from the painful damage caused by infidelity is never easy. In the aftermath of infidelity, marriages and committed relationships that have been built and nurtured over years, even decades, can quickly crumble, leaving one or both partners devastated.

But there is hope and a way forward for those couples who are willing to make the commitment and do the hard work. The trauma of infidelity needn’t last a lifetime.
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Addiction

7 Ways to Deal With Difficult People

Difficult people are like the termites of the human spirit. They can be eating away at the tender parts of you for months on end before you notice, and then, suddenly, at a work meeting or a family dinner, you lose it. You might scream something unkind or have a temper tantrum much like the two-year-old on "Nanny 911", or even do something drastic like start binge drinking again after a few years of sobriety. Unfortunately, living on earth as a homo sapien requires dealing with other homo sapiens -- unless you want to isolate yourself and watch Dr. Phil all day long. So having some techniques in mind, especially during the holidays and other times of vulnerability, can help you arrest their damage before your structure crumbles.
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Family

The Social Club: A Shelter in the Storm

“Hey, Matt, come with me. I am going to my satellite office. Bring your laptop; you can do some work,” Uncle John said.

As I hurriedly grabbed my belongings, I visualized Uncle John’s office. It was probably a nondescript building tucked in a tony Minneapolis suburb. I wondered if Uncle John had a corner office.

Within minutes, I was walking into an unassuming strip mall in an affluent Minneapolis suburb. But there were no humming laptops or frazzled secretaries greeting Uncle John.
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Aging

How the Elderly Are Finding Happiness Online

Much has been written about the increase in loneliness and isolation that has accompanied the internet. This is said to be caused by shallow online friendships which are no substitute for genuine relationships. Being exposed to the heavily curated lives of others on social media has also been found to create feelings of depression and anxiety in some people.  
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Caregivers

How to Stop Apologizing for Everything You Do

Do either of these situations sound familiar?

You start an email to your boss with, “I’m sorry to bother you, but…”


A colleague plops his papers down on the conference table, knocking your coffee over. “Sorry! Let me get this stuff out of your way,” you say as you begin cleaning up.

Maybe you’ve fallen into this over-apologizing trap or have found yourself saying “I’m sorry” for things that don’t merit an apology in the first place.
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Ethics & Morality

Expressing Gratitude Throughout the Year

Now that Thanksgiving is over, and everyone has expressed lots of gratitude to their family, friends, co-workers, over Facebook, and through other social media outlets, does this mean we are done with expressing gratitude? It shouldn’t mean that, but often it does.

Gratitude is a practice that should be expressed on a daily basis. Studies have shown that expressing gratitude can increase your level of happiness. Our brain often has a negativity bias, meaning...
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Friends

Being Love

“I’m not interested in being a ‘lover.’ I’m interested in only being love.” – Ram Dass
How can you be love? It’s an interesting question, probably not one most people ever consider. Yet the idea that you can embody love in everything you do is quite appealing. Akin to saintliness, perhaps, or what we imagine holy people do. But not us, right, surely not everyday people just trying to get along in life?

Not so fast. This isn’t a concept to dismiss out of hand. Think for a minute about doing the right thing, helping others instead of yourself all the time, going for the greater good in life and not striving for an accumulation of wealth and things. These are components of being love, although they only begin to touch at it.
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Family

Caring for Trauma Survivors and Caring for Yourself in the Process: Everyday Tips for Non-Professionals

Elise just told me about her past. I knew she had been through a lot, but not all that. She said her mom hit her and left bruises when she was a kid, her neighbor touched her where she didn't want to be touched, and I guess her brother was alcoholic. There was a lot of other stuff, too. It has gotten better in the last couple years so that is good. I have known their whole family for a long time and never knew any of that.

What do I do now? I want to help somehow, but is there anything to do? I don't know if I should tell someone. I feel sad.

We hope abuse and trauma never happen to ourselves or someone we love. When your sister, long-time friend, or neighbor tells you something you never expected, it can be confusing, upsetting, and scary.
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Friends

Accepting the Gift of Criticism

Criticism is often shot with such irrationally charged arrows that it’s natural to yield a defensive shield, which can deflect any kind of positive resolution or self-growth.

Also, criticism can be jarring to one’s self-image. For instance, if you perceive yourself to be a productive member of your company, and someone declares that you’re a slacker, it can be a blow to your ego. It’s natural, then, to try and combat criticism.
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