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Best of Our Blogs: December 8, 2017

Everything is harder when you have an illness. It feels like you're always trying to catch up. You can barely get by during the rest of the year, which makes the holiday season especially hard.

If that wasn't difficult enough, your illness, mental or physical, may be invisible so it doesn't warrant the concern, attention or understanding of others. Loved ones might expect you to attain a certain level of normalcy or be the you before your illness. Acquaintances or strangers may personalize and mis-take your shortness for a bad attitude.

All of this can weigh heavy on your heart. One thing you can do to lighten the load is to develop compassion-both for yourself and others. Our posts this week will help you do that with information on wellness apps, and new ways of looking at your relationships.
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Best of Our Blogs: December 5, 2017

I've been listening to Karla McLaren's The Language of Emotions. One of the jewels from the program is discovering how each of our emotions have a purpose. Even boredom teaches us how we may be burying our emotions and using distraction to deal with it.

Anger and rage also have its place. It reveals in intensity how good of a job we're doing at setting and maintaining our boundaries. Those of us who are perpetually angry, she says, are the humanitarians of the world. They feel all of it and need an outlet to divert their anger to action.

The next time you're experiencing an emotion, instead of trying to stuff it or distract it away, listen. You might uncover valuable information about your relationships, childhood wounds and current state of mind.
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Best of Our Blogs: December 1, 2017

No matter how much you want it, you can't will someone to say the words you've always wanted to hear. Words like:

"It's okay. You did the best you could."

"I'm sorry. You deserved better."

"What do you need from me right now?"

"I love you."

Instead of putting ourselves in unhealthy situations for the chance that person will utter these words, we can simply and lovingly say it to ourselves.

While you're busy navigating the season with all its expectations and family gatherings, do yourself a favor and speak those words of compassion and love to yourself. And then read our posts for more tips on self-love and self-care.
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Best of Our Blogs: November 28, 2017

'Tis the season for overindulging and overdoing, when everyone comes together to buy into a belief that makes us sick, sad and stressed.

We believe getting the best present is more important than our presence.

We want our families to be happy so we people please, which leaves us resentful and upset.

We do favors, help others and drive around in traffic when we're tired and depleted.

No wonder many of us are more scrooge than angelic.

We can turn things around by doing the hard stuff. Saying, "No." Taking stock of what really matters. Letting go of should. And being open to new ways of celebrating the holidays.

Sometimes all it takes is questioning our old beliefs.
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Best of Our Blogs: November 24, 2017

Yesterday's Thanksgiving turkey is today's lunch. But for many of us we didn't have our pumpkin pie and eat it too.

Perhaps, there were too much words spoken or not enough.

Maybe Thanksgiving was full of painful reminders of past holidays or people we loved who are not celebrating with us this year.

As we reflect upon yesterday's events, you may have feelings of regret, remorse or resentment for the things you said or didn't say, the things you did that you shouldn't have.

I've found that turning here helps. Feeling like we're not the only one helps. Self-compassion and kindness are also ways to help heal a overburdened heart.

As Black Friday begins and everyone fills their pain with more distractions, I hope you'll pause and tell yourself the following: I did the best I could. Maybe they did the best they could too. I'm worthy regardless.

Our five posts this week are all about helping you feel better, stop yelling and survive your dysfunctional families. Reading them is like someone saying, "It's okay. You're not alone. We've all got them, and there's things we can do."
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Best of Our Blogs: November 21, 2017

I know you're here cause you're hurting. You're searching for a sense of normalcy, place of belonging, and the sense you're not alone.

It's almost Thanksgiving and I wanted to tell you this.

I'm so grateful for you. There are people suffering everywhere, and you're here trying to get better.

I'm so grateful for your courage to seek and spread truth, honesty, healing and empathy. Thank you Psych Central visitors! It may not seem like it while you're coping with ADHD, a neglectful family or recovering from abuse, but taking care of yourself is how we end up healing the world.
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Best of Our Blogs: November 17, 2017

I hope you read this before the holiday craziness.

There's one thing I keep forgetting and I want you to get it before you get lost in the loop too.

I find myself falling into a pitt of resentment. It happens when I start doing for everyone else, when I cook multiple meals, shop for the perfect outfits for my kids, and stay up late just to make sure I've got rainy day activities and holiday ideas planned.

Suddenly, I'm angry. I feel alone. I think no one cares how tired I am, or sick I feel. Somewhere in that loop, I stop and realize it's me. I need to take care of myself. I need to set time to bathe in Epsom salts, to do yoga and sleep. These are imperative to my emotional health so I need to make it a priority.

This weekend is the beginning of holiday shopping, parties and other must do activities. I hope you'll read our posts and remember your ability to take care of yourself whether through exercise, being calm or being less kind, is directly related to how well you're able to take care of everyone else.
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Best of Our Blogs: November 10, 2017

Today is the last day of Sound True's Psychotherapy & Spirituality online summit. To be immersed in 10 days of hearing speakers and experts in their field of psychotherapy and spirituality was enlightening, healing and life transforming. I hope you had a chance to listen to it as well.

The one thing I gleaned from all the knowledge from speakers is that a sense of acceptance, moving toward our pain, and learning to inhabit our bodies are all important to our healing.

This week, I hope reading our blogs will bring light to things you hold in the shadows. It could be a denial of a difficult childhood, personal attack or the real reason behind why you can't stop taking selfies. Each will give you an opportunity to pause and reflect. Is this a sign you need greater self-acceptance, therapy/ spirituality or different way of thinking to begin the process of true inner healing?
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Best of Our Blogs: November 7, 2017

Halloween is over. We fell back an hour and the sun is setting sooner. The holidays are upon us.

For some, it's a time of joy and excitement. But for many of you, the thought of re-enacting last year's drama and grief is terrifying.

The holidays can easily trigger traumatic times or even just return us to who we used to be, dependent and helpless on our parental figures. But we can also decide to do something different. We can set boundaries, find new ways of celebrating and change the outcome for ourselves.

This week you'll learn why honoring certain parents may be detrimental to your health, what you can do to have a happier marriage and better relationship with yourself. These are the gifts that can change your holiday season because it doesn't depend on others to come through for you. It comes from change within yourself.
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Best of Our Blogs: November 3, 2017

Can you believe it's already November? Who would have thought that 2017 would unfold like it has? For many of us it's been a torrential year filled with unexpected tragedies.

It's a tenuous time. We seem to be on the cusp of change. While there seemed to be a global shift towards greater awareness, compassion and mindfulness, we seem to be reversing in the direction of name calling and greater divisiveness.

Yes we can't change the minds of everyone. But hope resides in what we can do to change ourselves. Our posts will give you the tools to fulfill your dream of writing a winning screenplay, interact with a narcissist, gain more sleep at night, and determine whether you need a therapist or have a good one. These are all things that will ignite your own health and happiness, which will snowball into more love and peace in the world.

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Best of Our Blogs: October 31, 2017

We all struggle with fear, which makes taking on a new persona for a night, going to a Haunted House or watching scary movies fun. It transforms what's terrifying into something light. It puts us in a seat of power by giving us an opportunity to dress up as fear.

Are you watching a Halloween comedy, wearing a costume or finding another way to put fear in its place?

How about learning how to really be assertive, kicking loneliness on its head and imagining what your future would be like married to a narcissist?

These tips of courage will stay with you long after the candy is gone.

Happy Halloween!
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