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Anxiety and Panic

The Richest Life: Consumer to Advocate

You want more.

Yes, you have a high-paying job, a dutiful spouse, and all the modern accoutrements. Underneath your polished veneer, there is a bubbling restlessness.

Something is missing, and you desperately want to reclaim it.

The issue: defining what ‘it’ is. Then doing something it.

It could represent numbing myopia, mounting indifference, or a stirring wanderlust. As you check off items on your daily to-do list, you recognize the 'why' underlying your simmering discontent.
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Family

Are You Turning Towards Your Partner?

Well known couples therapists and founders of the Gottman Method for couples therapy, John and Julie Gottman have a wealth of knowledge when it comes to what keeps couples together in a healthy relationship and what can break a relationship apart. In what they coined The Sound Relationship House, the foundation and inside of a healthy relationship rest on things like trust and commitment, fondness and admiration, turning towards and a positive perspective of your partner, as well as a healthy conflict style, and shared meaning.

Today I am focusing on the idea of turning towards instead of turning away from your partner. In Gottman’s research (in which he interviewed newlyweds and again after 6 years) he noticed one thing that stood out was that those who were still married after 6 year were turning towards one another 86% of the time, and those that divorced had turned towards only 33% of the time. What I gather from this piece of evidence is that the idea of turning towards instead of turning away plays a huge role on the health of your relationship and overall success of it.
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Books

Awesome Mental Health Resources You Probably Didn’t Know About

We come across a lot of announcements for this new thing or that, and most of it is garbage. We do, however, like to promote ideas that we feel offer a valuable community service to both mental health consumers and professionals alike.

I've discovered two awesome mental health resources you probably didn't know about, both of which are absolutely free. Whether you like mental health and psychology apps, or psychology and mental books, one of these services can have the potential to change your life.

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Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: September 30, 2016

If you are a truth teller you may experience two extremes. There will be people who can’t stand to be near you and others who are drawn to you.

It can be an isolating path when you speak honestly. But when you do it in company of those who are comfortable sharing theirs, it’s like coming home.

All of us are looking to be heard, and validated for who we are. But many of us are too afraid of rejection to remove our protective shells. It’s much easier to hide behind false perfection or superficial niceties.

But when we share what we really think and how we really feel, we open the light in. This light invites others to share their own truth. That’s how we blossom. That’s how we begin to change the world.

The next time someone asks how you feel. Be like our bloggers this week. Take a risk in your relationships. Be honest with them and yourself.
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Addiction

How Pornography Can Hurt Your Sex Life

Viewership of internet pornography has exploded in the last decade, and debates about it can get pretty touchy. When sex addiction therapists talk about porns proliferation, we often get attacked for supposedly pathologizing normal sexual behavior, or for excusing “bad” behavior.

The reality is, whether it is labeled sex addiction or something else, porn use can get out of control to the point of causing serious problems. It can be the sexual version of a gateway drug, pulling people into compulsive cyber-sex use. People lose jobs and families. It can take over someone to the extent that he or she no longer ventures past it, is no longer able to have sex with another, whether online or in person.
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Celebrities

What Tig Notaro’s New Show Gets Right about Child Sexual Abuse

In the new Amazon series One Mississippi, loosely based on the life of comedian Tig Notaro, she finds herself living back home in Mississippi following the sudden death of her mother. Staying in her childhood home with her stepfather, Bill, and her adult brother, Remy, Tig isn’t just facing the grief of losing her mother, she’s recovering from breast cancer, which resulted in a double mastectomy, and suffering from a C. diff infection. She’s also dealing with the ghosts of her past. Tig -- as she's also called on the show -- was molested by her grandfather throughout her childhood.

Although it's estimated that
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General

How Mindful Living Creates Lasting Intimacy

We often understand mindfulness as a practice that helps reduce stress or moves us toward spiritual awakening. But there is another benefit to being mindful that doesn't receive much attention. Mindfulness is an essential foundation for fulfilling and lasting intimate relationships.

Being present means noticing what we’re actually experiencing inside. In his popular book Wherever You Go, There You Are Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “Mindfulness practice means that we commit fully in each moment to be present; inviting ourselves to interface with this moment in full awareness.”
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Children and Teens

What ‘Stranger Things’ Can Teach Us about Parenting

If you are one of the few out there who have not seen it: Stranger Things is a science fiction series that is very reminiscent of "The Goonies." The story takes place in 1983 and the central plot line follows a group of four boys. In the first episode, one of the four boys goes missing. The three remaining best friends do their best to find and rescue their friend. They do so independent of adults. They work together as a team (mostly) and it all involves a lot of bike-riding. We all love the nostalgia in this throw-back drama. As an instructor of college courses in Infant and Child Development, I was immediately hooked on how the show depicted the preadolescent gang of boys.

Prior to the disappearance of their friend, the main characters spend their free-time riding bikes and playing Dungeons and Dragons, a table-top role-playing game. After the disappearance, they use the skills learned through years of friendship and freedom to participate in their own mystery man-hunt. If these kids survive what they are up against, every major CEO would want to hire them. They are smart, creative, team-players who are confident in their abilities to solve problems.
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Brain and Behavior

Why I Prescribe Pokemon Go for My Patients

This week, the parent of one of my patients asked me about Pokémon Go. She was concerned with her child’s obsession and felt like this could lead to social or emotional problems.

Electronics, as with most things, are good in moderation -- but Pokémon Go isn’t your average video game. Unlike games that keep people glued to the couch, Pokémon Go requires people to get up, move around, and interact with others. What that means to me as a child psychiatrist is that it comes with a variety of health benefits. Exercise is as good for the brain as it is for the rest of the body. I’ve seen people walking, riding their bikes, and finding more excuses to get outside because of Pokémon Go.

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Habits

When Perseverance Costs You Success

Most of us know that persevering -- staying the course and not giving up despite difficulties and setbacks -- is an important part of what it takes to be successful in many areas of life. Intelligence, or talent, alone isn’t enough if you cannot persevere and weather frustration and challenges.

But perseverance, like other intrinsically healthy behaviors, can be taken too far and actually work against moving forward. When this happens, what may look like constructive perseverance functions behind the scenes as an unconscious attempt to avoid loss or avoid the positive risks required to progress to the next chapter. Another issue masquerading as perseverance, particularly with bright, driven people who are used to getting it right, is the compulsive need to prove themselves or restore a feeling of omnipotence.
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Anger

4 Ways To Stop Overthinking Your Mistakes

You know how when you trip walking down the street, it feels like the entire cityscape of people is staring at you in amusement? Or when you’ve worn the same pair of pants three times in one week, you’re completely paranoid your colleagues are judging you for your lack of fashion sense (or cleanliness)? What about when you fumble over your words in a presentation, and then can’t stop thinking about how every person in the room now thinks you’re a terrible speaker?

As human beings with egos and an innate self-awareness of our own feelings, actions and thoughts, we tend to notice and greatly exaggerate our flaws while assuming everyone around us has a microscope focused on our faults, mistakes and slip-ups. In truth, other people don’t notice them nearly as much as we assume. Why? Because they’re too busy noticing and greatly exaggerating their own flaws!
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