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The 4 Rubin Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Rebels & Obligers

I’m still obsessed with the four categories I’ve developed -- which, for lack of a better name, I’m currently calling the Four Rubin Tendencies. Or maybe I’m calling it the Rubin Character Index. Which name do you like better?

These categories describe how people tend to respond to expectations: outer expectations (a deadline, a “request” from a sweetheart) and inner expectations (write a novel in your free time, train for a marathon).

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7 Common Misconceptions About Addiction Interventions

When alcohol or drugs have taken over a loved one's life, and they seem reluctant to face the facts about their addiction, sometimes we turn to an "intervention" to help them see that they need help. An intervention is when a group of loved ones -- family, friends and concerned others -- gather together to try and help the person see that they need treatment for their addiction.

For those who have never been involved in an intervention, the process may seem daunting and full of unanswered questions. Many people have only seen drug interventions on television or in movies, and are not sure what to expect at an actual intervention.

Here are seven common misconceptions about drug and alcohol interventions.

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8 Strategies for Navigating Common Conversation Stumbles in ADHD

People with ADHD have a hard time with conversation. They might get distracted and lose track of what the other person is saying. They might ramble, and monopolize the conversation, said psychotherapist Terry Matlen, ACSW.

They might interrupt. They might stand too close to the person they’re talking to. They might monitor everything they say because of past social slipups, said Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D, a psychotherapist and author of several books on ADHD, including 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD.

The good news is that these potential stumbles have solutions. Being able to connect with others and navigate social situations takes learning a few new tools and practicing them regularly.

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Should You Keep Your Mental Illness a Secret at Work?

It's bad enough that most health insurance companies will gladly discriminate against you for having a pre-existing mental illness, such as bipolar disorder or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

But what about other people, like your coworkers? Will they still treat you the same if they knew you had a mental illness?

Depending on where you worked, you might find the answer surprising, even in the year 2013.

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Are We Medicating Normalcy?

You’ve heard it all at dinner parties, graduations, school fundraisers, and family cookouts... At least, I have, and it goes something like this:

"Psychiatry is a business that is medicating every normal syndrome out there: Too shy to ask a girl to prom? Take Zoloft for Social Anxiety Disorder.... Grieving the loss of a spouse a year after he passed away? Try Prozac for Major Depressive Disorder.... Feeling a little hyper and can’t concentrate? You need Adderall for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

"Doctors are greedy experts that are too lazy to get to the core problem and will medicate any person for any reason. They are essentially poisoning the population with this pill-popping philosophy."

Now I know that there is a bit of truth to this... So it led to me to wonder, are we medicating normalcy?

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Diets & Dieting: Is it Time to End the Debate?

Health and our search for how to optimize it has become a major industry in the U.S. With nearly 70 percent of the population considered overweight or obese, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), it’s no wonder that diet and exercise are hot topics of debate.

But some researchers believe that we are losing the forest for the trees in our constant examination of what, specifically, is the best, most nutritionally sound diet to follow.

The researchers suggest we're missing the point -- that endlessly pursuing a new or different diet isn't helpful (or healthy!) for most people.

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Childhood Emotional Neglect: The Fatal Flaw

Twenty-three-year-old Andrea fears deep down that if she allows anyone to get close enough to see the real Andrea, they will not like what they see.

Jeremy watches people walking down the street laughing and talking, and wonders what they have that he doesn’t.

Christina, an accomplished businesswoman, secretly feels out of place everywhere she goes.

Although it may seem that each of these people is struggling with a different problem, all of these secret, painful struggles stem from the same common roots. Andrea, Jeremy, and Christina all deeply believe something is wrong with them. I call this belief the fatal flaw.

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Relationship on the Rocks? 5 Ideas to Help Reignite that Spark

This guest article from YourTango was written by Julie Orlov.

Picture this: you can't believe it's summer already. Another school year has gone by, and you're trying to decide where to go on vacation. Any idea you come up with seems like a lot of effort. And if you're really honest? The idea of a family vacation seems exhausting.

Taking a long weekend away by yourself sounds so much more enticing. You look across the kitchen table at your husband. He's busy writing out checks, and reminds you that he will be working late next week so you will need to pick up the kids from their various afternoon activities.

Things are comfortable between the two of you. But where's the spark?

More from YourTango: 

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Handling Intrusive Thoughts while Meditating

It’s easy to say that when meditating one should focus on the breath and release thoughts as they arise, but it’s incredibly difficult to do. I’ve been a bit hypomanic lately, and ideas are flying through my head. Concentration and attention are very difficult.

Acknowledging thoughts and letting them go is hard enough on a good day. What do I do now?

During mindfulness meditation you keep your attention on your breath, but you want to be fully aware in this moment. So you still take note of sounds and smells, aches and pains, all that makes up the present moment. When thoughts arise the instructions are to notice them, let them go, and return to the breath.

But to just blot out thoughts without paying attention to them would not be very mindful at all. Don’t ignore your thoughts... Instead, work with them.

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5 Reasons Why Keeping Family Secrets Could Be Harmful

It is true that every family has its secrets; however, it is the content of the secret that really counts.

Secrets can be small and insignificant, (planning a surprise birthday celebration or a trip to Disneyland for spring break). Those types of secrets -- and their keepers -- cause no harm.

On the other hand, traumatic, painful, or life-changing secrets potentially can damage an entire family's mental health...
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