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A Lesson in Happiness and Love I Learned from Rob Lowe

Rob Lowe Stories I Only Tell My FriendsI’m not a particular fan (or not) of Rob Lowe, but several people had recommended his memoir, Stories I Only Tell My Friends, so I decided to read it.

It was very interesting for many reasons, and I was particularly struck by a story Lowe told, recalling a visit to the White House during his time on the show The West Wing:

On my last visit to the Clinton White House, I’m standing on the South Lawn with [my wife] Sheryl and the boys talking to the president before he hops onto Marine One. My youngest son, Johnowen, is holding his stuffed frog, Gwee Gwee, which he never lets out of his sight, under any circumstances. It has been his security blanket since he was an infant. But now, he takes it out of his mouth and hands his old, tattered frog to the president.

“Well, look at this!” says the president. “Is this for me?” he asks.

Johnowen nods shyly. “For you,” he says in a small voice.

Sheryl and I look at each other in shock.

“Wow, Johnowen!” exclaims Matthew.

“Well, thank you, young man. I bet you didn’t know, but I collect frogs. Have since I was a boy like you…I’ll keep him nice and safe. You can come visit him at the Clinton Library someday.”

Rob Lowe, Stories I Only Tell My Friends

I love this story, because it’s a great example of how sometimes we can be generous by taking.

It would have been so easy for President Clinton to think, “I shouldn’t deprive a little boy of his special toy. I should gently decline his gift, so he can keep it.”

But he didn’t. He took it.

Now, what was in Johnowen’s mind? Did he understand who the “president” is, why did he want to make a gift of his beloved frog Gwee Gwee? It’s impossible to know. But he wanted to offer something, and like the little drummer boy, he gave the only precious thing he had.

It reminds me of a much darker and more profound example of this principle, which I describe in this video — you can hear me get choked up as I tell it. Every time I think of this story, I’m moved to tears: We Can Be Generous By Taking

Sometimes, we can be generous, by taking. A mystery.

How about you? Have you ever been generous by taking — or felt the generosity of someone receiving your gift?

A Lesson in Happiness and Love I Learned from Rob Lowe

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Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin is the award-winning author of The Happiness Project, a #1 New York Times bestseller. You can also watch the one-minute book video. She is a regular contributor to Psych Central.

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APA Reference
Rubin, G. (2018). A Lesson in Happiness and Love I Learned from Rob Lowe. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 21, 2020, from
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Last updated: 8 Jul 2018 (Originally: 28 Sep 2015)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 Jul 2018
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