6 Ways to Tell You’ve Outgrown Your Life (and How to Move Forward)
It’s time to move on.
Spring is just about here. I know this because when I was watering my house plants and admiring how well they have done over the winter months, I was noticing which plants I will be re-potting into bigger containers when the weather is mild enough for me to take them outside.
Now, I get to choose new attractive pots for each individual plant. I also will add some new soil, filled with everything a plant needs to thrive.
And just as your houseplants continually evolve and need new, larger planters to help them thrive, the same process of re-potting plants applies to your own life— as we’re constantly growing, changing and developing, too. After all, continued personal development is what keeps life feeling fresh and interesting, which is why personal growth is critical to our happiness.
Have you ever felt like your own personal “pot” is too small for you? Have you ever felt like you just don’t have the ability to spread your leaves the way you should be able to in your current state?
Think about it this way: Just like a plant that has outgrown its pot, when your life feels too static or small, you may feel cramped and undernourished. Your personal growth is stifled.
Here are some ways you will know if you’ve outgrown your life:
- Your life feels like a yawn. You’re just tired of the same old same old.
- You may be bored at your job or in your current career and feel like there is nowhere for you to advance to.
- Your relationships may feel disconnected. Somehow you just don’t have anything exciting to talk about with your friends and family anymore.
- Nothing excites you anymore. You’re not sure of what you want and what will bring you feelings of joy.
- You may be literally growing out of the space you live in. You feel it might be a good idea to move, however, you’re not sure where you want to go.
- You’re not feeling very romantic and your partner just doesn’t seem to be doing it for you anymore.
If you’re feeling like your pot is too small, it’s time to re-evaluate your current one. Only when we can identify where we are now and our feelings around it can we create the new and improved pot that we want to live in. Then, your new and improved situation seems to miraculously appear out of nowhere.
Here are some good beginning steps to take in order to understand where you are in your life now:
1. Take Stock of All the Things in Your Life That You Are Truly Grateful For.
Write them down in a journal so you can see them. Read the list out loud to yourself, then close your eyes and really feel the gratitude for all the wonderful things, people, and experiences in your current pot.
2. Next, Take Stock of the Things, People, and Experiences That You Are Not So Enamored by in Your Life.
Journal on them. Feel into them. What are you making them mean about you? Notice what negative beliefs show up.
“I’m not good enough,” “I’m not worthy,” and “I don’t deserve” are a few very popular ones. You may be feeling that somehow you are not good enough, or don’t deserve, or are not worthy of a bigger, better, more improved pot.
3. Think About Where These Negative Ideas Stemmed From, and Bust Them.
As you digest them, if the material coming up is just too much for you to deal with, confide in a trusted friend or professional to help you understand fully that these negative beliefs are just lies you are telling yourself — they just are not true!
Often times, instead of evaluating ourselves, we point fingers at others. It is never helpful to point fingers. It is always helpful to stand in your own power and focus on your own, if you want to feel the expansion of some new digs.
This is definitely the messy, muddy part of re-potting. This is where you get dirty as all the dirt gets dug up for you to process and sift through. This is not a pretty time.
4. Decide How You Want to Grow and What You Want Your Life to Look Like in the Future.
Be patient because sometimes this phase can feel like an eternity. You may feel even more stuck in the mud for a while, but eventually, find yourself easily making some changes that feel very natural.
You may want to let some things, people and experiences go that have served you well up to this point, but, are not anymore. Now, be careful of those negative beliefs surfacing! Now is the time that you will be tested. Combat those negative beliefs with a dose of self-care.
Make sure you take ultra-good care of yourself through this time. Eat well, rest, move your body and take care of your feelings. Journal. Notice what or who is triggering you and journal on it. The more you uncover, the better you will feel and the more perfect your new pot will fit.
Until, of course, the next spring season.
This guest article originally appeared on YourTango.com: 6 Tell-Tale Signs You’ve Outgrown Your Life (& 4 Ways To Keep Thriving).
Guest Author, P. (2018). 6 Ways to Tell You’ve Outgrown Your Life (and How to Move Forward). Psych Central. Retrieved on July 5, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-ways-to-tell-youve-outgrown-your-life-and-how-to-move-forward/