5 Tips for Facebook-Proofing Your Marriage
Get offline and on with your relationship.
Beware what you say and do online, because it will come back to haunt you later!
Did you know that entire websites are devoted to helping people avoid getting caught flirting and cheating on social media sites like Facebook? This is partly in response to a new trend in divorce proceedings. A recent report says that Facebook is cited as proof of infidelity in about one-third of divorces!
What if you’d like to AVOID divorce court and, instead, your goal is to keep trust and connection strong in your marriage? What if you’d like to defy what seem like tough odds and create a long-lasting marriage where you and your spouse grow closer to one another as the years go by?
If so, we’ve got some good news for you…
You CAN keep your relationship healthy and happy and you and your partner don’t have to crawl into a technology-void hole to do so. You can take easy and simple steps every day that will essentially “Facebook-proof” your marriage and prevent cheating.
You and your spouse don’t have to be among the many couples whose relationships have been destroyed because one (or both) rekindled old passions with exes or former schoolmates online.
These five tried and true techniques will help you keep your marriage strong…
1. Nurture the Good Stuff
Maybe you’ve heard the old Cherokee tale of two wolves: One is angry, jealous and envious and the other is peaceful, joyful and kind. Both live inside each of us. The wise one in the story advises his grandson to feed the inner “wolf” that he wants to grow bigger and stronger.
The choice is for you to make too. What will you consistently focus on and what will you nurture in your marriage? Even when things get tense and difficult between the two of you, always respond in a way that “grows” what you want more of.
2. Fill Relationship Holes
As you feed and grow the trusting and connected “wolf” in your marriage, you should also be aware of the holes that have developed along the way. These are the gaps and disconnects that you and your spouse may tip toe around and pretend aren’t there.
Find the courage to address the topics about which you and your partner disagree and possibly harbor resentment and anger about. Create a doable plan to change harmful habits that take you apart.
3. Walk the Walk
Another piece of advice that your parents may have taught you when you were young is that you get back what you put into anything. This simple wisdom can be another crucial piece of creating an affair-proof marriage.
If you want iron-clad trust between you and your partner, make sure YOU are living a trustable life. This applies not just to flirting or acting inappropriately with others, but also to being honest (even when it’s not easy to do), open and transparent — in all ways.
4. Get Your Facts Straight
Don’t let the stories you tell yourself about what you think your partner does online (and offline) undermine trust and your marriage. Jealousy can build until it is uncontrollable when you misconstrue a comment or post you see on your partner’s Facebook wall. Doubts can form and pile up from a casual remark that you think means something it really doesn’t.
It’s always, always, always best to rely on facts instead of stories.
Recognize it when worries or suspicions have been triggered and, instead of reacting, remind yourself of the facts you have. Instead of interrogating your partner or asking accusatory questions, make a request like, “Please help me understand…” and really listen with the intent to understand what’s true.
5. Turn Off to Turn It On
Develop a habit of regular face-to-face connection with your spouse. This means that you two agree to log off Facebook and set aside electronic devices, like your phones and the TV, so you can really be present with each other.
If you don’t have time or the budget for a date night out each week, commit to just 5 minutes of quality time together each day. This can be you and your partner cuddling together, talking about your day, showing appreciation for one another in some way or taking on a challenge you’re facing.
What a wonderful turn ON to know you are so important to each other that you’re willing to turn off Facebook and really be together!
This guest article originally appeared on YourTango.com: 5 Things You MUST Do To Facebook-Proof Your Marriage.
Guest Author, P. (2018). 5 Tips for Facebook-Proofing Your Marriage. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 27, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-tips-for-facebook-proofing-your-marriage/