This guest article from YourTango was written by Gerti Schoen.
Introverts often have a more difficult time with social interactions than others. This is especially true when it comes to dating. Just talking with other people can be a challenge for many introverts. It’s no surprise then that the thought of actually talking to someone who might be a future partner can send an introvert into a tailspin.
Here are a few quick dating tips for the introvert that may help.
1. Fess up.
Don’t pretend to be a social butterfly. There is nothing wrong with being introverted. Tell your date if you are someone who seeks friendship first or needs time to fall in love. You may scare away a few flakes, and instead attract people who will really appreciate you.
2. Meet at places where you feel comfortable.
If you don’t like loud bars, don’t go there. Often introverts are also people-pleasers, and they will do what they think is asked of them even if they suffer. Find a place that makes you feel comfortable: a laid back coffee shop perhaps, or a park.
Also, consider taking your date out for a walk with your dog, or to meet with mutual friends. You’ll at least then have an ally who will be there for you whatever happens.
3. Avoid smooth talkers.
In a relationship, you need to be heard. If your date won’t allow you to get a word in edgewise, it’s not the right person for you.
4. Look for subtle connections.
Sometimes we get so flooded by first impressions and things to look out for, it’s difficult to just feel what it’s like to sit with this person. Do you like being there? Or does it feel crowded, overwhelming, or make you nervous? Make sure you actually enjoy hanging out with your date.
5. Beware of takers.
Introverts are often givers. We listen, pay attention, and want to be there for the other. Make sure you get to be on the receiving end of the equation. If you have to ask repeatedly for romantic gestures or to be included, this is what you sign up for down the road.
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