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3 Steps to End the Year with Success

I know you don’t want to hear it; neither do I, but it’s true. It’s time to put our muck boots on, start hammering through our poo, walk through the muck, eat some crow, and all that jazz. It’s time to get uncomfortable.

There is an opportunity to ride out 2019 in a clambering smash. An opportunity to come out as winners, and to do that, we are going to choose to get uncomfortable with the areas of our life causing us lingering stress and discomfort, and/or areas where we want to do something but are afraid (and what not). It’s time to get-on-it.

It’s time to stop dodging, running, hiding, ignoring, and distracting from what needs to be done.

Why Not Just Face the Discomfort Directly?

There’s a lot of power in that question. Contemplate it. Chew on it. You don’t have to swallow it whole, much to say that you probably can’t or at least won’t be able to digest it. It’s a big question, just don’t spit it out. 

“Don’t look away,” as Rumi would say. 

It’s an interesting thing to consider when we realized how much time, effort, and energy we spend dodging the object of our discomfort instead of choosing to face it directly.

Discomfort Is the Key to Change

When I go to my meditation retreats, inevitably, there is someone sitting (in a meditation stance of some sort) and trying to get real comfortable — with more cushions, different cushions, a different chair, more blankets, different blankets, and such. And I understand, I’ve done it myself. You realize when you realize…

In essence, they are not meditating; they are trying to get comfortable. When they realize that getting comfortable is not why we have cleared our schedules to sit for 10+hours every day, they will then stop trying to get comfortable and start meditating.

There is a thing about alchemy — in that, there is some form of pressure needed for the transformation. No pressure, no transformation.

My meditation practice is Vipassana — known as insight meditation. No discomfort, no insight.

Embracing Discomfort

Face it. Name it. Soulutionize it; bring some heart and soul to those solutions.

1. Face it. The real aim to close out 2019 is to gain more self-respect. Increased self-respect will lead to success. We win when we stand in the midst of our very own self-respect. 

The saying, “To save face,” is to say that you are holding on to your self-respect; to save it, don’t lose it. In and of itself, to face the stress and discomfort directly will allow you to “save face.” To retain your self-respect is powerful in and of its own right. A win. 

2. Name it: Is it money? Substances? Health? A relationship? Job stress? Distractions? Too much of x and not enough y? That to-do list?

Naming it calls it out; it’s the “I see you.” If you plan to win, you need to see clearly what you are aiming at. You need to see the target.  

3. Soulutionize it. Get uncomfortable with it. Get jiggy with it. Get-on-it. You got this. 

You are now face to face with the stress and discomfort (the target): I see you. 

The solution has more to do with the arrow upon which we will aim; the arrow of self-respect. Ask yourself; what can I do about this situation that would give me a sense of self-respect? 

We can’t always determine outcomes, we can’t guarantee results, so the real solution is to aim and shoot our self-respect at the target of stress and discomfort. 

The Truth about Discomfort

Oh, the beauty and sneakiness of discomfort; it gets us no matter where we turn. The beauty of discomfort is a benevolent way for life to inform us that change is needed, and it gives us options. Discomfort is kind enough to give us a choice. 

Which discomfort do you choose? The discomfort of continued suffering as we continue to avoid, hide, and run from what we need to face? Or the discomfort of facing it, and giving it a solution instead of keeping it a problem to dodge? 

Awareness Practice: Observe the ways you run, hide, ignore, and distract from what needs to be done, and how much that madness adds to the stress of your life. Notice how much you add discomfort to an already uncomfortable situation. 

Realization: It can be mind-blowing to realize how much we create our own stress, and/or add to what is not necessarily stress or a problem; it just something that needs a solution. Self-respect is a natural byproduct of facing our stress and discomforts directly. Self-respect is the win. 

Reference:

Roth, G. (2011). Women, Food, and God: An unexpected path to almost everything. New York, NY: Scribner.

3 Steps to End the Year with Success


Laura C Meyer

Laura C. Meyer, MS, specializes in therapeutic mindfulness for mental and behavioral health. She currently maintains a private studio in Charlottesville, Virginia at the Center for Wellness and Change. More about Laura at www.livemorestudio.com.


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APA Reference
Meyer, L. (2019). 3 Steps to End the Year with Success. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 8, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-steps-to-end-the-year-with-success/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 4 Oct 2019 (Originally: 29 Sep 2019)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 4 Oct 2019
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.