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Children and Teens

4 Tips for Teens Who Are Dating

Recently, a mother asked me for advice on how to keep her teenage daughter, who just started dating, from getting hurt.

First, I assured her that her daughter will get hurt. I don’t know anyone who has loved without pain.

Even more important than trying to avoid pain is helping our sons and daughters (and ourselves) to know that they are strong, capable, and powerful -- and that they can overcome hurt.

Resiliency, self-respect, self-esteem, confidence, perseverance, and wisdom are the things to focus on instilling in your children, as these things will both help them to avoid pain and to recover from it quickly.

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Marriage and Divorce

Couples & Money: 10 Tips to Fix Your Finances Together

This knowledge will help you avoid common financial fights.

A strong relationship with your partner, and a solid, secure financial life together, begins with what you bring to the table. As a money and relationship coach, I work with couples who struggle with this; and, while there's a lot they need to work on together, they first must start with themselves. And so do you.

Here, I've outlined the 10 big ideas that I walk everyone through to get on solid footing with their finances, so that they're ready to be honest and optimistic about their future, their finances, and their relationships.

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7 Tips for a Saner Holiday

As soon as autumn comes, people's thoughts begin to shift to the holidays, and sometimes those thoughts are accompanied by difficult emotions such as depression, frustration, and anxiety.

For some, the holidays conjure up unpleasant associations, such as the first event without Grandma there, or prickly family get-togethers. Then there are financial worries, the pressure to come up with gift ideas, dealing with school kids on vacation, to-do lists, and much more.
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What I Wish People Knew about Depression

Someone recently asked me to write on what I wish people knew about depression, in light of Robin William’s suicide. Here’s my response.

I wish people knew that depression is complex, that it is a physiological condition with psychological and spiritual components, and therefore can’t be forced into any neat and tidy box, that healing needs to come from lots of kinds of sources and that every person’s recovery is different.
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Brain and Behavior

7 Ways for Those with Dysthymia to Get the Day off to a Good Start

I’m a deep thinker, a creative type -- and a dysthymic. As in: a person with dysthymia, officially known as Persistent Depressive Disorder, characterized by feeling “down” on a regular basis without reaching the level of near-total impairment associated with major depressive disorder.

The sense of depression is at its worst when I have little immediate “busyness” to occupy my mind.

Often the hardest part of the day is starting it: that is, getting out of bed in the morning. If you have a similar problem, the following strategies help:
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Tips to Ease Relationship Tensions

I came home after a dinner with friends to hungry cats, wet laundry still in the washing machine, and muddy footprints tracked across the carpet.

I was tired. And I felt my tension rise. I’d expected those chores to be covered.

He had been out in the yard, digging a French drain to keep the crawl space from drawing too much rainwater during the winter storms.

He was tired from the wet, dirty work. He’d expected me to be pleased by the effort.

By the time we sorted through missed expectations, we were both impatient and irritated. We didn’t feel like talking -- probably good because neither of us felt like listening, either.
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Expecting to Be Happy Makes You Happier

How happy do you expect to be?

The answer to that question could have a major influence on how happy you feel.

A team of scientists led by Robb Rutledge from the Wellcome Trust Centre for Neuroimaging, University College London, found that our in-the-moment happiness levels are influenced by activities, events, and outcomes.

But our expectations for those events contribute to our happiness before they even occur. For example, simply booking the exotic vacation you’ve been looking forward will leave you feeling happy long before you ever wind up on the tropical island.

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Psychology Around the Net: November 29, 2014

This week's Psychology Around the Net covers ways to keep your sanity during seasonal shopping, learning how to motivate yourself by pretending your life is a movie (wow!), and even tips on how to read and interpret others' facial expressions...and act accordingly.


Black Friday Prep: Crowd Psychology Can Help You Hang Onto Budget: Yes, we realize Black Friday is over, but you can still keep your sanity this shopping season! Check out these seasonal shopping tips on avoiding spending hype, including setting goals and making lists; choosing the right shopping buddy; and the negative social influence you can avoid by shopping online.

Women in Positions of Power Show More Signs of Depression Than Men: Recent research from the University of Texas at Austin suggests women climbing the work success ladder show more signs of depression than do their male counterparts.

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Marriage and Divorce

Surviving Infidelity: Regain Your Confidence & Self-Esteem

It’s not okay for someone to give you less than 100% love and safety.

Ladies, if you've been cheated on, then you know how crippling it can be to your self-esteem. It can send a crumbling ripple effect to your ego, making you feel worthless for many months, if not years.

You play the blame game and you play it well. You’re the victim and you give your cheater immense power over you. You may look for answers but you may never get them. And because you don’t have a real answer as to why he or she committed infidelity, all you can do is blame yourself.

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4 Proven Ways to Uplift Your Mood

It is not uncommon for people from all walks of life to feel sad or lonely at times. Everyone at one time or another will have the blues, but you may have depression. Depression is a medical condition that requires help and is much more serious than being in a slump.

The World Health Organization (WHO) has estimated that 350 million people worldwide suffer from some form of clinical depression. It’s far more common in women than in men, and children also are affected by it.

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Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: November 28, 2014

"The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who has learns this knows what it means to live." - Albert Schweitzer
As I'm writing this, it's Thanksgiving. I'm fortunate that I don't have to baste the turkey or prepare the house for a large party. We're visiting others who are taking care of that this year.

I'm grateful for more than that, however.

I'm not just grateful for the obvious things-the fact that I have a roof over my head, family nearby, a full belly and a career that I love.

I'm grateful for everything.

I'm appreciative of the uncertainty in the future and the challenges of my past because they are responsible for the depth, character and humility of my present.

In fact, there is a long list of people, events and things that never make it to the gratitude list. For Thanksgiving, I'm saluting them. I'm grateful for...

1. Illness because it's given me an increased awareness and compassion for others.

2. Loss for what it's taught me about the things that truly matter in my life.

3. Conflict for helping me to understand myself and others.

You can add to your own list with the topics from this week's posts. It's all the things you might not have considered when pondering what you have to be grateful for, but are equally worthy of your attention and appreciation. Happy Belated Thanksgiving!
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