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A Tale of Two Defiers

Shelley, a college sophomore, is an actively aggressive defier. She prides herself on being a fiercely independent person who doesn't need or want anyone to tell her what to do. She often resorts to fighting words in her verbal outbursts:

- "How could he give me such a crappy grade?"
- "He's tormenting me with that ridiculous assignment!"
- "Doesn’t she know I have better things to do with my time?"

It’s not just her words that display her defiance; it’s also her actions. She feels no guilt about petty acts of defiance, like returning library books late, ignoring due dates for essays, and refusing to pay parking tickets.

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Avoid These 3 Mistakes When Going Through a Transition

Life is full of 180-degree turns. Just when we think we have things figured out, life throws us for a loop with both "good" things and "bad."

Falling in love turns our world around. Having children, moving to a new place, getting married, getting divorced, getting a new job, retirement, deaths, accidents, births, accomplishments, graduations -- all have the potential to destabilize our worlds. Every one of these transitions puts us into a state of flux so none of us is a stranger to the phenomenon.

Unfortunately, no matter how common transitional funks and confusion may be, what is also common are mistakes we make when trying to deal with them.
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Women Taking Antidepressants: Improve Sexuality with Exercise

One of the most common complaints related to taking antidepressant medications is their impact on one's sexuality. For the most antidepressants prescribed today, sexual side effects are often significant -- and troubling (in a way quite different than depression is).

I mean, it's one thing to think, "Great, this medication is helping alleviate my depressed mood." But in the next breath, you have to admit, "My sex drive has gone out the window. I just have no interest in sex any more." And let's admit it -- sex is a pretty important component of most people's romantic relationships.

That's why a recently published study may provide some hope.

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Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: April 29, 2014

Your health is rocky at best.

You don't love your job.

Your relationships could use some work.

It's hard to love much less like your life. There are more things to gripe about than to be grateful for. You're not mindful or peaceful. You're anything, but grace under fire. In fact, the more you hear about how you're supposed to feel, be or live, the worse you feel.

Sound familiar?

Most of us believe a perfect life equals a happy one. But show me someone's supposedly flawless life and I'll show you the truth under the shiny image.

To be satisfied, you don't need to seek perfection. In fact, doing so will guarantee unhappiness. What you need is a release of judgment from what is, the courage to practice acceptance, and the persistence to keep working on yourself.

Learning to live consciously is the path toward the life you really want, not the life you think will make you happy. This week, our bloggers will guide you in the right direction with posts on ADHD, stress, mindfulness and bipolar disorder. Read them and you'll find there is no easy solution toward happiness. But there are long-lasting tips that can heal you from the inside out.
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Anxiety and Panic

Overcoming Fear of Flying

“Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. We are experiencing some unexpected turbulence. Please return to your seats at this time and keep your seat belts fastened. Thank you.”

This is a common airline script that can leave many passengers feeling uneasy, holding the armrest in a death grip.
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The Seedy Underbelly of Rehab Centers’ Online Marketing

Just over a year ago, I wrote about the curious marketing of addiction treatment centers online, which used what I believed to be deceptive marketing practices.

The email that arrived on Oct. 2, 2013 piqued my curiosity yet again. It was promoting a self-made infographic about “porn addicted” communities online.  It came from a website called “Project Know.”

Sounds interesting, right?

The email started my second investigation into the seedy underbelly of the online marketing practices of rehab and addiction treatment centers. You know the ones, as you’ve probably seen at least one of their advertisements on TV, too.

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Questions to Spark Self-Discovery

Self-reflection is a powerful tool for cultivating a fulfilling, meaningful life. When you dig deeper, you can discover “what it is you know, what you think [and] how you want to be in the world,” according to Rosie Molinary, who teaches body image at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte and leads workshops and retreats for women.

When you know yourself, really know yourself, you can live according to your values and passions, make a positive contribution to the world and simply have more fun, said Polly Campbell, a blogger, speaker and author who specializes in positive psychology, personal development and spirituality.

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Break the “Busy”ness Cycle: Live with More Intention

Is the daily routine of life getting you down? Find your passion and live a more authentic life!

Do you ever have those times when you have been on the go non-stop trying to stay on top of all your responsibilities and get all the necessary things on your "to do" list accomplished -- and then it hits you like a ton of bricks? You don't have one more ounce of energy to keep going. You feel so stressed and overwhelmed from all the "busy"ness that you start losing things, forgetting things, your fuse with family, friends and co-workers is short and it feels like things are unraveling quickly?
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Brain and Behavior

The Masks of Trauma

Sometimes I receive emails from acquaintances I knew in my early years. They usually start by expressing their deep concern for me and what I went through.

Each message like this is healing because validation and concern for my situation was something I desperately needed as a child.

But their next questions are more challenging. “Should I have known?” “How did I miss the signs?” The answer has always eluded me. I really have no response.
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Tips for Transitioning Graduates Into the Real World

As the end of the school year approaches, expectations and anxiety begin to loom in equal measure. Prior to graduation, the notion that "now life really begins" fills people with giddy anticipation.

However, there are several unexpected challenges that can take the young graduate by surprise, dismaying their parents who have been anxiously waiting for their offspring to spring into action on their own two feet.

If you know about the looming pitfalls in advance, you can expect the unexpected and plan ahead, lessening the impact on the student’s relationship with his or herself and the relationship between parent and "child."
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