I’m not certain of your exact question so my answer will be general in nature. I would need to know much more about your relationship to determine if there is a problem. However, if you see this as a problem, then it is a problem.
It’s not clear to me whether or not you are okay with her going into business with this man. It seems like you are suspicious of how the two of them met or you worry that they have dated in the past. You’re asking whether or not they dated in the past does not seem like a question that should’ve prompted the reaction you received. However, there’s probably much more to the story that is not included in this letter.
One reason that she may have been upset was because it seems as though she told you how they met and by asking this question about their having dated, may indicate that you don’t believe her. Her interpretation of your question may have been that you are essentially calling her a liar. She may not appreciate being mistrusted or being called a liar. Again, I would need more information.
I would also want to know if the two of you have to come to an understanding about this business and whether or not you’re okay with it. She will be spending a great deal of time with her new business partner. Starting a business requires a great deal of time and effort. If you are not okay with her going into business with this man, then you need to let her know. It would be best for you to have this discussion sooner rather than later, and before you come to resent her and her business partner.
If you love this woman and you want to be with her, then you may have to tolerate her going into business with this individual. If it’s not something you can tolerate and you don’t trust her, then maybe this isn’t the right relationship for you. Obviously, you love her but sometimes love alone isn’t enough. Relationships need a foundation of trust. If the two of you don’t trust each other, then this relationship may need re-evaluated.
One final consideration is the possibility that there was a misunderstanding. Communication does not ensure clarity. Don’t assume that because you said it, she understands what you said or what you meant. There are many problems that occur simply because of basic miscommunication. Hopefully, the two of you can come to a resolution. If you need assistance with communication or other aspects of your relationship, you might consider couples or individual counseling. It could help to rectify any potential problems in the relationship. If you would like to write back with additional information, regarding your relationship, I will try to provide you with a more specific answer. Good luck and please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle