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Some Kind of Anxiety or Crazy Psychological Issue

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hi, I’m 18 and a couple of months ago something very strange started happening to me. I’m just gonna say what’s going on as blunt and straightforward as possible because it is quite bizarre. okay, I’m a guy and I’m pretty strong and muscular – a couple of months ago a good friend came over to my house with his brother. (the brother comes over all the time but the friend probably hadn’t been there in years because he hangs with a different group and it just didn’t happen don’t question it.) but this friend of mine is a year younger and his genetics are crazy – he’s about three inches taller than me and the guy is literally strong as heck, huge muscles, and whatnot. I don’t know exactly what happened but this is where it started and why I’m asking – I was constantly “looking the wrong way” or almost just “looking down” i guess (I DON’T KNOW WHY) but my dogs like, noticed it, somehow (i have a very tough boxer and a beagle that I’m pretty sure has anxiety like it used to get abused) from there like my dogs acted like they didn’t trust my friend that hadn’t been over in a while and the dogs actually tricked me by the boxer going to the back of the house and barking to get me to get up and when I got back they said the beagle had jumped on the couch, gotten in my friends face, and was sniffing and growling at him – and got down when I was coming back. now, here’s the thing. my friend left eventually but it keeps happening. I’m gonna call it “anxiety” when I talk about this weird thing that’s happening of me looking in the “wrong places” all the time. I’ve been having this anxiety ever since at random times but mostly whenever I’m doing something socially. here’s how it goes: I’ll be fine, enjoying myself, and then, ill look at someone, and as soon as we make eye contact or right before, I’ll look away or look down and then be “afraid” to look back at them, like I had done something wrong. and everyone – all my friends – adult friends – teachers – they all seem like they feel weird about it like I shouldn’t be doing what I’m doing. (i just want to tell them to f*** off like I wish I could just not do this) but anyway, after it happens the first time, I’m done. – ill keep doing it and have this anxiety for however long it lasts and the crazy part is when I get home my dogs are always waiting at the door or they run-up to the door when I open it. they can tell when it happens. they can tell when I come home and I’ve been having this “anxiety”. I’m pretty sure they’ve tried to communicate it to me on multiple occasions. what I mean by this is that when I come home still having the anxiety, I’ll have it with them too, and they can tell as always – but multiple times I’ve sat on the couch with them sitting in front of me and I’m just looking at them helplessly after I’ve calmed down a little bit. and then, they look at me, look to the side, look down, look back at me and whine. f***ing crazy right. okay, I’m gonna give an example of it happening to help anyone answer what’s happening. I’m at a National Honor Society induction ceremony for new inductees. I’m sitting on a stage with a crowd of people in front of me. in the crowd are two boys sitting right next to each other (THESE BOYS CONSTANTLY EXPLOIT MY ANXIETY TO MAKE FUN OF ME) (WHICH IS REALLY WEIRD BECAUSE I COULD KICK BOTH OF THEIR ASSES AT THE SAME TIME, but I’m not a man of violence so I wouldn’t unless they took it too far.) anyway, I spot them and as soon as they notice I see them, they laugh or something, then they like start to look to the right(my left) and I guess my eyes followed them or whatever happens because i could tell my anxiety got triggered when they both stopped and made an “*o*” face. when the induction was over we all went to the commons for drinks and cake and they were taking pictures and whatnot. i went to take a picture with the strong friend it all started with that I mentioned before because we are basically family and we both wanted a picture. but, the two douchebags in the crowd were taking the picture. one of them got down on one knee for a better angle i guess and said “look here” while the other started snapping his finger slightly to the right of the picture-takers head. for whatever reason it is that triggered my anxiety and they started laughing and immediately said “c’mon name your eyes are barely open” (i don’t know why they said that.)

Okay, that’s all I’m saying because I’m tired. anyone who looks at this please try to answer the question or show it to someone who might be able to please, my dogs are even trying to help me! thank you for your time as well. good day. (From the USA)

Some Kind of Anxiety or Crazy Psychological Issue

Answered by on -

A.

There are several features of your question that I want to highlight. The first is that you know exactly what it is that is happening when it happens, and that there is a particular pattern to it. The part of you that is noticing this reaction, and the consequences of it, is in the best position to help you going forward. The observer part of you is noticing the loop in your behavior. This is often the most essential characteristic when trying to change behavior — one’s capacity to notice consequences and patterns. You have this ability.

The curious thing — and the most confusing — is why this is happening, but this isn’t as important as you might think. Learning why we might be allergic to strawberries doesn’t help change the situation. What helps is learning what else can be done.

For this, I would recommend a few sessions with a Cognitive-Behaviorial Therapist. He or she is likely to be able to teach you skills to use to prevent and correct this reaction when it happens. In other words, I’d treat this from the behavioral approach rather than the depth approach. Learn what it is you can do to change your behavior and this has the greatest chance of correcting the problem.

The find help tab at the top of the page can help you find someone in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Some Kind of Anxiety or Crazy Psychological Issue

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Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2020). Some Kind of Anxiety or Crazy Psychological Issue. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 24, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2020/06/08/some-kind-of-anxiety-or-crazy-psychological-issue/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 5 Jun 2020 (Originally: 8 Jun 2020)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 5 Jun 2020
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.