There are several things to unpack here, but I want you to know how much I admire your resilience and bravery as you have consistently dealt with these issues. Before we tackle the riddle of identifying a diagnosis, I want to honor your greatest strength of grit. Your tremendous perseverance in trying to find some relief is impressive and I want you to know how precious this effort is and will continue to be in your recovery.
I think any one of these diagnoses anorexia (losing weight by refusing to eat); BPD- borderline personality disorder (usually characterized by unstable relationships and large emotional swings); Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) with its intrusive thoughts of memories of the trauma, flashbacks, and or nightmares; or the difficult to diagnose, Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), where the symptoms of a PTSD have had an impact on one’s personality or identity could be overwhelming, but to have each of their powerful impact balanced and evaluated in trying to come to a type of stability and balance is exceptionally courageous. My concern is that there are many people offering an opinion and treatment options, but what might be needed is a primary person to coordinate the medicines, therapy, and progress. I am say ing this because you’ve suggested that when you are recovering from the anorexia and begin trauma therapy the stress of doing that triggers the flashbacks and the need to not eat returns as it calms you down. This is a cycle that may be better managed with one person understanding all of the moving parts so that therapy and success in treating the anorexia are happening in concert with one another.
See if you can find one person — most likely a psychiatrist, to take on the job of looking at all of this. Sometime when one person can see all the parts of the puzzle he or she can gain some insight as to the best way to go forward.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral