It does not seem as though your father has been very nice to you. He’s forced you to do things that you don’t want to do. In essence, he knows what you want, but he would rather you do things his way. Thus, it makes sense that you wouldn’t have kind feelings towards him at this time.
Unfortunately, you might be stuck doing what he wants because he is paying your way through school. Understandably, college is expensive. The average cost of an in-state public college is approximately $10,000 a year compared to approximately $36,000 a year for a private college. Financial aid and scholarships are often available but even with those, college can be expensive.
However, if you’re going to accept your father’s money, then there are strings attached. That’s the deal. If you don’t like it, then you should not accept the money. He has made it clear that he wants you to do certain things, take certain classes, participate in certain internships, etc., if you accept his money. Thus, you have to decide if you still want to continue to take his money.
Apparently, you can’t have it both ways. He has indicated, albeit indirectly, that if you take his money, then you have to do what he wants. You have a choice to make. Do you want to continue taking his money and doing what he wants or are you willing to give up his money in order to have your freedom? It’s your decision.
Many people don’t have the luxury of having their parents pay for college. They have to work to pay their own tuition. It’s more challenging but doable. Many people have graduated college without any help from anyone. They were able to succeed independently.
You have to decide if you’re willing to give up your father’s money in order to do what you want to do. Perhaps you can tolerate his demands until you have completed college.
You might consider consulting a therapist regarding this matter. The therapist can assist you in developing an alternative plan, should you forgo your father’s money.
I am also wondering if you’ve ever discussed this matter with your father. Does he know how unhappy you are with this arrangement? Perhaps you haven’t communicated your true feelings to him. Meeting with a therapist can help you to develop a plan for communicating more effectively with your father.
It’s understandable that you feel the way you do. It would be better if he would’ve given you the money without stipulations. It may be that he is not a nice person and he doesn’t care about what you want. It may also be that he believes that he is helping you and knows what’s best for you. It might be more difficult to find a job in the art world when compared to the computer science world. He might think that he is doing you a favor.
Discussing this might lead to clarity about his choices and yours. I would recommend it. Good luck with your efforts. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle