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She Told Me about a Guy Who Does Not Exist

Asked by on with 1 answer:

My girlfriend always told me about the guy who helped her a lot.
She went places with him.
But when i asked her about him.
For his picture she said she doesn’t have it
When i asked her that he calls you like you said so call him
Then she said she don’t know his number
When i asked her she kept saying am i going mad
She said she knows the incidents
She knew what it felt
Then she said she doesn’t remember his face
She told her close friends about him like for 3 years
Now in a relationship of about a year
When i asked about him
She reacted this way
She told me she went to his house
But when i asked her
She said she don’t remember the exact address then she repeated the same that she can’t remember it
She said he visited her in college
Just to check on her
Now i can’t understand anything what’s happening to her
Even i can’t find anyone with the name she mentioned
After everything she asked if she’s going mad
Then she asked me for 3-4 days time
Now what should i do next
I don’t know what should i ask
Or say
I just know i wanna stay by her side
But i also wanna help her through it
When she told the story
I believed everything she said about him
Now everything is falling apart in front of me
What should i do that can help with it
She always told me about the visits of him
She told me about what’s going on in his life
Now i don’t know apart from this
Everything she told is true or not
She also told about her past relationship
With a boy who died of leukemia
And it took 3 years for her to get back from that
The boy she keeps mentioning was also there according to her when she saw his ex on the deathbed
I just boggled by the things
Please help me get peace from all these things
But i want to spend the rest of my life with this girl
I’ll do whatever it takes to help her
I need to know what should i do next
Or what to do
That will help her

She Told Me about a Guy Who Does Not Exist

Answered by on -

A.

You want to try and clarify whether or not she is lying or delusional. If she is lying, try to find out why. Why would she be making up these stories? Why would she want to portray herself in a particular way? Is she trying to make you jealous? Is she trying to enhance her life by attempting to shape the opinions others have of her? It is important to determine what is motivating her to lie, if she is lying.

A person who would lie in the manner you have described, might do so because they’re attempting to make themselves appear better than they are. They want to be impressive; they want people to like them and to think highly of them, often because they don’t think highly of themselves.

Pathological lying may also be a sign of a personality disorder including narcissistic or antisocial. Those disorders are notoriously difficult to cure, often because those afflicted are not accepting of treatment. They typically don’t see themselves as having any problems. Their tendency is to blame others.

If she’s delusional, that would mean that she has lost touch with reality and may not realize what she’s saying. In other words, she may not recognize that she’s lying. She may be telling you what she believes has happened to her. If she believes something happened to her or that these people were a part of her life and they were not, this might suggest a mental illness. It would mean that she is believing or seeing things that are not real. In this case, she would need treatment. It would be wise for her, under those circumstances, to undergo an evaluation with both a medical professional and a mental health professional. A medical professional can rule out any physical illnesses. A mental health professional can determine if the nature of the problem is psychological and offer recommendations for treatment.

If she’s willing to undergo an evaluation with a professional, you would have a better sense of what might be wrong. It could help you to clarify whether or not she is lying or delusional. It’s important to determine the nature of the problem because you are planning to spend your life with her. Should the two of you get married, her problems become your problems. You need to know as much about her as possible so that you could be wholly prepared for planning your future.

In addition, it’s impossible to have a relationship without trust. It’s the foundation of any good relationship. Without it, you can’t rely on her to tell you the truth. You need to be able to trust her in order to have a good, solid relationship.

Hopefully, she will be amenable to an evaluation and treatment if necessary. Having a professional involved is a wise idea. It will help you know if you should move forward in this relationship. Good luck with your efforts. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

She Told Me about a Guy Who Does Not Exist

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Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2020). She Told Me about a Guy Who Does Not Exist. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 30, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2020/04/28/she-told-about-a-guy-who-does-not-exist/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 23 Apr 2020 (Originally: 28 Apr 2020)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 23 Apr 2020
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.