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Is It OK to Be a Sissy?

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From a midle aged man in the U.S.: i have worn panties since i was 12, started with sisters and mommy. now i am married and still wear but wife hates it and i don’t want to stop. Also some men found out and think it is gay or i am a sissy, not that i care but they think being a sissy is bad or wrong. is it ok to wear panties and is it ok to be a sissy?

Is It OK to Be a Sissy?

Answered by on -


You are not bad or wrong. You aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else.

Your letter did make me think about the term”sissy”. A “sis” is a female sibling. How did it come to be that calling a man by a female sibling label makes him somehow less than a man? When I looked up the definition of “sissy”, I found “cowardly, feeble, spineless, effeminate” as some of the adjectives. What? Nobody’s sister I know is cowardly, feeble, or spineless. They are strong, intelligent, brave and hardworking. As for “effeminate”: When I looked up that word, I found “showing characteristics regarded as typical of a woman” as if all women are alike. Really. What is “typical” of being female? I want to know.

I find the kind of thinking evidenced by the men who are taunting you to be both ignorant and despicable. They are bullies. Men who harass other men for not being just. like. them. are men with low self-esteem and low character. Their comments aren’t worth paying attention to.

What does concern me is that your wife “hates” your harmless fetish. That is something to pay attention to. I hope the two of you are talking about why she finds it so objectionable. What does it mean to her? Is there a way you can offer reassurances? Unless the two of you can come to some agreement about it, it will intrude on your intimacy and impact your marriage in other ways. I hope you will take that to heart and have the difficult conversations you need to have to be closer to each other.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Is It OK to Be a Sissy?

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2020). Is It OK to Be a Sissy?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 30, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 23 Apr 2020 (Originally: 26 Apr 2020)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 23 Apr 2020
Published on Psych All rights reserved.