You are not bad or wrong. You aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else.
Your letter did make me think about the term”sissy”. A “sis” is a female sibling. How did it come to be that calling a man by a female sibling label makes him somehow less than a man? When I looked up the definition of “sissy”, I found “cowardly, feeble, spineless, effeminate” as some of the adjectives. What? Nobody’s sister I know is cowardly, feeble, or spineless. They are strong, intelligent, brave and hardworking. As for “effeminate”: When I looked up that word, I found “showing characteristics regarded as typical of a woman” as if all women are alike. Really. What is “typical” of being female? I want to know.
I find the kind of thinking evidenced by the men who are taunting you to be both ignorant and despicable. They are bullies. Men who harass other men for not being just. like. them. are men with low self-esteem and low character. Their comments aren’t worth paying attention to.
What does concern me is that your wife “hates” your harmless fetish. That is something to pay attention to. I hope the two of you are talking about why she finds it so objectionable. What does it mean to her? Is there a way you can offer reassurances? Unless the two of you can come to some agreement about it, it will intrude on your intimacy and impact your marriage in other ways. I hope you will take that to heart and have the difficult conversations you need to have to be closer to each other.
I wish you well.