I can appreciate the emptiness and the struggle to express yourself. I have a few different ways that we can approach this, but before I jump into discussing them let me first say how much courage I believe you have and such perspective to be able to witness your own emptiness and comment on it. I find this ability to be so helpful and important in helping people unravel their inner emotional landscape.
There are many reasons why an emptiness manifests. It could be a type of detachment, a defense against feeling something unwanted, a dissociation, a type of repression, or indifference. But your description doesn’t seem to follow any of these paths specifically. What you’ve said is that you have specific access to a feeling that gets hijacked by the emptiness — or eclipsed by it. This is different. In my way of thinking the emotional emptiness is a type of default state that you return to after having a feeling. If I am understanding you correctly the issue is continuing to have the feeling — not feeling empty all of the time and void of feeling.
I am making this distinction because it is a different thing to work with emptiness as the only thing you feel versus emptiness not allowing you to feel something fully.
The key to expanding your feeling state is to find ways to activate and savor emotions. Good movies, engaging books, experiences of beauty and awe are all ways to naturally activate emotions. Your work (once you have been activated) is to find ways to linger with the feeling, reflect on it, and deepen your experience of it. The action scene from the movie, the sunset, the betrayal of a character in a book, are all ways feelings can be sampled. As you begin to notice what activates you savor it by noticing where it is in your body if the image of it can recall the feeling, and what it feels like to have the emotion covered over by the emptiness. In this way, you’ll be giving a vocabulary to your emotional well-being. As William James famously said: My experience is what I agree to attend to.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral