Your friend seems to be believing in things that are not real. These ideas seem to be facilitated by her mother. Her mother thinks one way about the world and she is sharing it with her daughter. She may be being indoctrinated by her mother.
The possibility also exists that your friend has a mental illness. It’s difficult to know what illness but possibly a psychotic disorder. I could never know what disorder she may or may not have from a distance. She would need to be evaluated by a therapist, in person, to know what disorder she may have, if any at all.
You are doing all you can but as you can see your power is limited. You should continue to express your concern for your friend and encourage her to seek help. After you’ve done that, realize that you’ve done all you can. She is free to believe in anything she wants. The hope obviously is that she would believe in things that are real, and not in things that are not real.
You mentioned that this is beginning to affect your own mental health. In that case, you may have to put limits on the amount of time you spend interacting with your friend. As I mentioned above, you should do what you can but realize that you can only do so much. You can’t make people do things they are not willing to do. You suggested that she seek help and she ignored you. You cannot force her to seek help if she does not want it.
It’s difficult to watch someone you love engage in behavior that is detrimental to their well-being. In some ways, it’s the most difficult position to be in, watching what amounts to a slow-motion train wreck. Unfortunately, that is sometimes the reality of life. People have to want to seek help and have to be willing to get it. For those who are unwilling to get it, there’s virtually nothing you can do. The only time you can force someone to seek help is when they are a danger to themselves or to others. Even in those cases, the danger has to be imminent in order to receive immediate help. It does not seem as though your friend is in imminent danger nor a danger to herself or to others. Theoretically, believing in ideas not based in reality are dangerous for one’s psychological health, however, it is not enough to qualify for inpatient hospitalization.
Do your best and hope for the best. Encourage her to seek help. Realize that your power is limited in this situation. Keep your distance so that you can protect your own mental health. Good luck and please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle