Please see a medical doctor. I’m very concerned about your list of physical symptoms. They may be at least partly due to a medical problem that hasn’t been diagnosed or treated.
You also need the support and help of a recovery program. You are really still newly sober. You’ve been managing an extraordinarily difficult upbringing with substance abuse since you were very young. You’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places and have ended up at age 30 with few skills for coping with life and 3 kids who need you to be a better mother for them than you had.
Twelve-step groups may not be enough support for you, although going to one regularly could give you some support. You probably also need some intensive therapy to deal with the traumas of your childhood and to teach you some new ways to manage the stresses of life. Look into whether there is a community mental health clinic where you can access services. Do also consider joining one (or more) of the forums here at Psych Central for advice and support. You need support for your recovery. You also probably need help with parenting skills since you had such a poor role model.
I’m very glad you wrote to us here. It’s an important step in your recovery. But it’s not enough. I hope you can find the strength to reach for the ongoing help you need and deserve.
I wish you well.