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Low Self-Esteem & Sadness

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I wanted to become a welder in boces because we built projects and I had design input. While I was going to college for my associate’s degree in welding, I had internet and began to discover video gaming. I had a change of heart and wanted to become a YouTuber or video game developer, but quickly realized that, although I’m better at video games than my few friends, I am really just average. I began to think that I would never be good enough to fulfill my new dream. The thought that, in the two years of teaching myself how to edit, build, and convert 3d models into various video games, could really only be used for those specific games, which I would never be good enough to be considered. After college I went to work as a welder and, in my free time, continue to play video games and work with 3d models. Playing video games and 3d modeling worked for a while to distract me from my negative thoughts, but I find myself becoming more and more depressed and wanting to be left alone. I rarely ever feel happiness and feel as though I am nothing but worthless. I wish for something to change, however quitting my job as a welder and making an attemp at YouTubing is disapproved by my parents. As they feel that any job that doesn’t prove lucrative immediately is not to be considered. All I know for certain is that something needs to change.

Low Self-Esteem & Sadness

Answered by on -

A.

It may be that your job and situation are making you depressed but it’s not clear that those are the cause. There could be something else causing you to feel depressed.

Your situation is not uncommon. Many people work day jobs that they don’t love and go home and do what they really love. They do this because they know they need a job to pay the bills. They also know that their day job is simply something they do in order to make ends meet. They don’t love it and if they could do it over again, they may not choose that same path but they also recognize they need money in order to live. You are likely in a similar predicament.

It is my understanding that welding is a good career. It is something that can help you to move forward in life. In your free time, you could continue to develop your skills for potentially making money on YouTube.

The reality is that making money on YouTube can be quite difficult. It’s not a career that you can necessarily count on. The people who are successful on YouTube have been doing it for many years. It takes time to develop an audience. You need a large audience in order to be successful. You can continue trying to develop your channel in your free time. It would be unwise for you to give up your day job at this point in time. It doesn’t mean you have to give up on YouTube. It means that you could maintain your day job while attempting to grow your audience.

Let’s say, for the purposes of this response, that you become successful on YouTube and quit your day job. Even in those circumstances, there are risks. YouTubers are entirely reliant on the YouTube platform and Google in order to make a living. The administrators at YouTube have the power to ban accounts any time they judge that someone has violated their policies. They also change their algorithm quite frequently. You may be doing really well and then, suddenly, you could see a decrease in your income due to changes in their algorithm. That sort of thing has happened to very popular YouTubers. Being reliant on a tech company for your income can be quite risky. You would not have those same challenges in your welding work.

The depression you’re feeling may stem from your unrealistic expectations. You may be depressed about having to spend time at work at your welding job feeling as though your time might be better spent on developing your YouTube channel. In actuality, you need the welding job for income. You’re having been trained as a welder gives you a skill that other people don’t have. If the YouTube channel doesn’t work out, you always have your welding skills.

For now, perhaps work on developing your channel in your spare time and hopefully it will grow enough so that someday you can quit your day job. That is a goal to work towards but recognize that it is not an easy path. Do what you can while maintaining your day job which helps you have money to live and be independent.

Because you described your symptoms as worsening, I would highly recommend counseling. Counseling could help you to identify what may be wrong. It could help you be realistic in your development of life goals. The more clarity you have about your life and path forward, the less depressed you may feel. I hope you’ll give counseling a try. It could help you tremendously. Good luck and please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Low Self-Esteem & Sadness

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Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2020). Low Self-Esteem & Sadness. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 30, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2020/03/09/low-self-esteem-sadness/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 Mar 2020 (Originally: 9 Mar 2020)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 Mar 2020
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.