It may be some comfort to know that you are not alone. Studies suggest that about 60% of marriages where one (or both) have ADHD are stressed by the disorder. Some studies suggest that the divorce rate for such couples is about double the average.
This problem won’t be solved by giving your husband more information. You are in your 50s and I’m guessing you have been married for some time. Your husband knows everything he needs to know about ADHD. But he doesn’t know how to handle it. Often the partner of someone with ADHD feels unloved or ignored or underappreciated. From the partner’s point of view, it’s as if the ADHD is more important to the partner than they are.
Fighting with your husband won’t help. Presenting him with a ton of research won’t help. Ignoring the situation may make it worse.
If you two could resolve your conflicts about your diagnosis on your own, the fights would have led to a resolution. Since nothing you have told him has worked, it’s time to get some outside help. Please, please see a couples counselor — together if possible. If he won’t go, then go yourself to learn some new tools for managing the situation.
Counseling to specifically address the tensions around your ADHD will help you learn techniques for managing your disorder. Just as important: Counseling will help you both learn how to be more sympathetic with each other’s experience and will give you tools for working together when the ADHD seems to take over.
There must be something positive in your relationship for the two of you to have stayed together this long. A counselor will help you build on that as your address the very real problems that ADHD creates.
I wish you well.