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My Grandma Hates Me and My Mom

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So about January, me and my mom had a falling out. Me and her could not get along. So I left and went through foster care for like months until the opening of school time.

Like literally 2 weeks after I went to my grandma’s house on my Dads side of the family
I swore it would be better they talked to me nicer and everything. Until I moved in and really got to see who they were. They are all around mean people. I have my grandma, Grandad, the one brother, and sister that are by another baby momma of his. I am the oldest, my grandma makes my solely responsible for everything. Dishes and everything. During the school week, they have to go to their mom’s house. I get to chill until they come back. They like to accuse me of things to get me in trouble. They once told me “I don’t want you,” I told my grandma she says nothing. But every time I do something wrong she yells at me like crazy. Its gotten to the point where she hates me she puts her hand in my face and tells me to “Go away” I don’t do anything to deserve this. She even said she doesn’t like me. Its all about her other grandkids. I’m trying to work on my rap career to get out of the house at 16, I can’t deal with this pain. She hates my mom’s name like crazy. She talks to me to turn on my mom –like I would fall for her mess. She hates my mom because my mom acts like she never met my dad. Its because he is a piece of Sh*t. Honestly my grandma childish. They can say I called her a chicken head, she gets heated like she is 10. Tired of the bullsh*t from her. (From the USA)

My Grandma Hates Me and My Mom

Answered by on -

A.

What a miserable situation for you to be in. It sounds like there is very little if any support for you no matter what is going on. How unfortunate that the bitterness between your mother and grandmother has put you right in the middle. It is a good goal for you to have to find a better place to live in. For now, the work is on making the best with the situation as you plan for the future.

Often at times like this, it is like passing through the neck of a bottle that slows down your progress, only to open later on. What is particularly important and noticeable is your strengths of courage, hope, self-regulation, and grit. You have been tolerating the situation and not losing your cool, while at the same time working on your career. Keep on that. The key to dealing with what is happening now is to create a future for yourself where you have more control. Develop your skills and talents by working hard at what you want to become.

Just because the situation at home isn’t good doesn’t mean you can’t find places where you can develop yourself. What I mean by this is that you are already demonstrating the natural qualities of a mature person. Importantly, you are reaching out for help and looking for answers. That, in and of itself is the most important trait for success. You have a passion for your career and persistence. Your music might be the way you can express your pain at home and may be what is going to help you get through this part of your life.

I will also encourage you to take this survey that will help identify the other strengths you have. This way you can keep working toward your future by investing in yourself.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My Grandma Hates Me and My Mom

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Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2020). My Grandma Hates Me and My Mom. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 30, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2020/03/05/my-grandma-hates-me-and-my-mom/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 5 Mar 2020 (Originally: 5 Mar 2020)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 5 Mar 2020
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.