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I Don’t Think I Have What it Takes to Protect a Woman

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From a teen in India: I feel incompotent I don’t feel I am a guy whom anyone should trust and I just don’t think I am worthy enough the truth is I don’t want to be in a relationship right now not because I don’t want to by healthy but because I feel I need to have some muscles and this will sound crazy but I want to learn how to shoot a gun well before I even try because I don’t think I will be a guy who will be able to protect her it just makes me feel that I am not worthy enough but I am not right? There might be people who might have issues but do I? Isn’t it possible that someone might genuinely need to get better to be in a relationship?

I also want to point out I am one of the happiest and peaceful person you will ever meet I am truly happy I love myself and I love everything about me but I just feel ….too weak for a girl…too incompetent for her.
Thank you for your time have a wonderful day and year !!!!

I Don’t Think I Have What it Takes to Protect a Woman

Answered by on -


Many a young woman would feel like the luckiest person in the world to be with someone who is happy and peaceful and who loves themself. I don’t know where you got the idea that a woman needs a muscle man to protect her. What they most want and need is someone who is loving, supportive, trustworthy, and who shares her values. More important than the ability to physically fight is the ability to forge a working team with your partner.

You are not at all alone in feeling insecure about your ability to be a partner. At 19, it is normal. I assure you, most teens go through a period of self-doubt and insecurity. Most also don’t want to talk about it because they are under the impression that everyone else has figured it out. They haven’t. They will. So will you.

Please relax and be the happy person you are. Take part in things you enjoy where you will meet young women who like to do them too. Friendships will naturally develop. In time, one of those friendships may evolve into something more. You have plenty of time to find the right woman for you.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I Don’t Think I Have What it Takes to Protect a Woman

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2020). I Don’t Think I Have What it Takes to Protect a Woman. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 28, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 29 Jan 2020 (Originally: 30 Jan 2020)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 29 Jan 2020
Published on Psych All rights reserved.