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My Friends Don’t Approve of the Women I’m Attracted To

Asked by on with 1 answer:

From Italy: I’m kind of a shy guy. i’m 26 years old, and i’m attracted to huge massive and masculine female bodybuilders.
All the people around me, judge me for this, and keep telling me that they are not the right choice, they would be the man in the relationship, and they would also be aggressive.

I met recently a very huge female bodybuilder, but the people around me judge me for this. Why am I attracted to such a woman?
What should I do if it’s true, that they are aggressive?
Thank you

My Friends Don’t Approve of the Women I’m Attracted To

Answered by on -

A.

There’s an old saying: “There’s no accounting for taste.” You are attracted to a particular physical type. So what? Other men are attracted to a different type. So what? There are many physical types: Short, tall. Large, small. Classically beautiful, beautiful in their own way. Isn’t it wonderful that beauty is in the eyes of a beholder, not limited to one type?

I don’t know why you find physically strong women attractive. It may be that someone more muscular helped you out in some way when you were young. It may be that, shy guy that you are, you feel safe with someone larger than yourself. Does it really matter?

What I see in your letter is that you are someone who isn’t capitulating to the stereotype of what a desirable woman should look like. You see beauty where your friends maybe do not. You know that aggression doesn’t come with body type. I’m sure you know men who are large who are gentle giants and men who are small who are aggressive little roosters. Aggression is an outcome of psychology, not physical type. The same is true of women.

People who judge you are narrow-minded and prejudiced. Please ignore them. Date who you wish. It’s a sorting process. If you find someone who is aggressive, you can drop her. But if you find a large female body builder who you love and who loves you back in ways that make you feel cherished and safe, thank your lucky stars and enjoy your relationship. Chances are your relationship will be at least as good, if not better, than the relationships of friends who are so shallow that they judge a woman according to stereotypes.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

My Friends Don’t Approve of the Women I’m Attracted To

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Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2019). My Friends Don’t Approve of the Women I’m Attracted To. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 28, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2019/12/19/my-friends-dont-approve-of-the-women-im-attracted-to/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 19 Dec 2019 (Originally: 19 Dec 2019)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 19 Dec 2019
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.