I am so very glad you wrote. This is a very hard way to live. You do say that you are on your phone a lot. Unless you are just scrolling through FB and IG, you are at least talking to someone. I hope you are maintaining contact with a few friends even though you feel so bad.
You say this has been going on for years, which means it started as you were entering your teens. It’s just possible that some of your distress is related to the hormonal shifts of adolescence that have not evened out as they should. The place to start on a journey to health is with your doctor. Share what you have written here. A complete physical exam may identify some issues that can be helped with some medication.
If your doctor says you are physically fine, then it’s time to make an appointment with a mental health counselor. If you don’t know how to find one, ask your doctor for some names of local therapists who work with teens. Your school counselor can also help in that way.
I worry that you are on your way to a depression. Staying in bed all day and isolating oneself are symptoms of growing depression. You feel hopeless about your situation and helpless to change it.
But you are not helpless. You wrote to us. That tells me you want help. That’s a great start. Now do the next steps. Make an appointment with your doctor and then with a therapist. You need and deserve help but it’s not going to come to you. You have it in you to make a couple of phone calls to get yourself where you need to go.
Ideally, you will talk to your parents about what you told us. If you can’t do that on your own, try sharing your letter and this response with them to help them understand that you need help. If that doesn’t feel like it would be productive, do share your letter with the doctors. You wrote a clear, articulate description of how you are feeling. Sharing it will jump-start your appointments.
I wish you well.