Thank you for writing. The fact that you are concerned is an indication that you aren’t as divorced from reality as you think. It is a smart first step to ask for help from us here at PsychCentral. But it is only a start.
You may have learned a great deal about psychology, but the fact is that you don’t have the two graduate level degrees it takes to become a psychologist. The training goes far beyond what you can learn on the internet or in the library. You deserve to get the benefit of that expertise.
It would be irresponsible of me to make a diagnosis on the basis of your letter. What I can do is tell you that you need to make an appointment with someone who can hear your whole story and do a professional assessment.
Assessment is what drives treatment. It does not do any good to start “treating” an illness if you don’t know exactly what you are treating. Once a qualified mental health counselor assesses your situation, only then will she or he make recommendations for what to do next.
I strongly urge you to make that first appointment. the symptoms you describe may be serious — or maybe not. It will at least give you peace of mind to know if you are dealing with an illness or only an active imagination born of social isolation. If there is a diagnosable illness, you will then learn your options for treatment.
I wish you well.