What is of concern to me is that the incident with the salon is only the latest of “many similar scenarios.” Of course you have a right to be upset. I suspect that the salon incident triggered your feelings about many times you have been put down and controlled. You have a right to more respect.
You are only 54 years old so I’m assuming your husband is a similar age. He’s not going to be on the road forever. I worry that when he retires and is home more, you will be subjected to even more disrespect. It may be that he learned this behavior from his mother but no one is making him continue it. That’s his choice.
I’m sure there are many reasons that you two have stayed together. But maybe you’ve had enough of being treated so badly. I hope you will consider seeing a couples counselor together to work on making a more respectful and equal relationship. A sign of hope for me is that your husband did marry you (and stayed married) in spite of his mother’s opinion. He may not realize that he has adopted his mother’s way of being married and just how hurtful it is to you.
If he won’t go to counseling, I hope you will consider going yourself. It’s not unusual for one member of a couple to get counseling started.
You may have many decades of marriage ahead. I think it’s worth getting some counseling to see if you can make those years happier for you.
I wish you well.