I can’t make a diagnosis on the basis of a short letter. But maybe I can give you some direction. You had a very rough start. It’s sad but true that not everyone gets that parents every child needs and deserves. It matters.
You shared that you had multiple traumatic experiences while growing up. You didn’t indicate if the people who cared for you (instead of your parents) gave you the loving support every child deserves. I certainly hope so. If they didn’t, it would impact your ability to trust even more.
If you were in therapy with me, I’d be exploring with you whether ways you found to survive as a child are now the very things that are getting in the way of becoming the adult you want to be. That would not be unusual.
Although you were hospitalized, I’m not confident you got the treatment you needed. Often hospitals focus primarily on stabilization. Most people need follow up with regular therapy to get a full understanding of themselves and the support they need to get really better.
If you haven’t done so already, I strongly encourage you to get into weekly therapy and to stick with it. It may take a year or more to get to the bottom of what is wrong, to undo the hurts you experienced as a child, and to redirect your feelings about yourself and others. You are only 18. You have decades of life ahead. You deserve to do the therapeutic work you need to do now to have a full and happy life.
I wish you well